She's Out of Hiccup's League
by MissAnimation
Summary: Hiccup may be the hero of Berk, but he's still HICCUP. Could Astrid really like him for him? What will it take to keep this relationship afloat? Based on 'She's Out of My League'
1. I'll Never Go To The Moon

**If any of you have seen both _She's Out of My League _and _How to Train Your Dragon_, you may have noticed that Hiccup's voice actor and Tuffnut's voice actor are in both films. Well I loved them in both films and so I have combined them. It's T-rated for now but later chapters will make me bump it up to M. Read, enjoy, and be sure to review.**

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**Chapter One: I'll Never Go To the Moon**

It was a regular day in the village of Berk. Of course, there was a new definition to "regular" to the Viking residents. A "regular day" now included feeding your pet dragon, racing your friend in the air on them, and chasing down said dragon for their bath. This was all thanks to their new hero, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, son of Stoick the Vast. Coincidentally, this young hero had just woken up a few days before to discover the newfound peace between these two former enemies and his new leg. As unfortunate as the latter was, there were some upsides. The villagers listened to him, people looked at him with a smile instead of with disdain, and he finally had some human friends-though Toothless would always be his best friend and nothing could ever change that.

Currently, Hiccup was sitting on the upper docks with Fishlegs, Snotlout, and Tuffnut, watching the fisherman below haul in their catch. Nearby, their dragons were giving their rider's the cold shoulder for telling them they weren't allowed to have any of that catch since they _just _had lunch. Humans could be _so _unfair.

"So, Hiccup," Snotlout began after the boys had been quiet for a little while, "my Dad told me something interesting happened outside your house when you woke up."

Hiccup raised an eyebrow. "Well, Toothless did bowl him over when he saw the new tailfin and saddle," he shrugged. Snotlout shook his head.

"Nuh-uh. Nope. Not what I was talking about. Something happened with you and a certain blonde Viking girl with a battle axe, spiked skirt, and a Deadly Nadder." Now Tuffnut's and Fishlegs had their eyes on Hiccup, too. The new hero turned the most brilliant shade of red. Even his ears were glowing with the color.

Hiccup mumbled.

"Sorry, what was that?" Snotlout teased, leaning in closer with his hand cupped to his ear.

"She kissed me. On the lips," Hiccup mumbled a little louder. The new hero almost fell into the water below with the force of Fishlegs slapping him on the back in a congratulatory manner.

"Wait to go, Hiccup!" Fishlegs cheered. "It's taken you seven years, but now Astrid's _finally _into you!"

Hiccup shook his head. "No, no. Astrid…I don't know _why _she kissed me but…there are very few things in life that I'm absolutely certain of and Astrid does _not _like me."

"Don't be such a Lay Down Larry," Fishlegs encouraged, watching a Terrible Terror fly by.

"I'm not being a-" Hiccup paused as he, Snotlout, and Tuffnut turned and gave Fishlegs a look. "Lay Down Larry?" Fishlegs shrugged. Tuffnut snorted.

"It's like saying…" Hiccup looked to the sky for inspiration. "It's like saying I'll never go to the moon and I'm alright with that, too."

Tuffnut frowned. "You don't want to go to the moon?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Bullshit!"

"No, no," Hiccup rubbed his forehead in frustration. "I'm saying that I never _will _go to the moon and that's just fine by me because I never expected to!" Hiccup thought of the kiss again. He wasn't sure if it was the memory or the afternoon sun that was making him feel so warm. Ever since then, things had been just a little awkward between the two of them. He hadn't quite been able to look her in the eye and every time he tried, she'd quickly look away. That was how someone who regretted their decision acted; not someone who liked the crippled hero of Berk.

"Well, Hiccup," Tuffnut said, put a hand on his shoulder, "I can say with almost complete certainty that Astrid is not into you. I mean, sure, she visited you every day while you were out, but so did the rest of us! She was just caught up in the moment of the 'Great Hero of Berk' waking up is all."

Snotlout nodded. "Yeah, here's the thing, oh-cousin-of-mine: you did save us all, but when it comes down to it, you're…" A flock of Terrible Terrors flew overhead and that struck Snotlout with inspiration. "You're a Merrible Merror."

Hiccup was thoroughly confused. "A _what?_"

"A Man Terrible Terror," Snotlout explained. "Girls like Astrid will want to feed you, cuddle you, and take you out on a walk but _no girl_ and I mean _no girl_…wants to _do _the Merrible Merror."

Tuffnut shook his head sadly. "Nobody would _ever_ fuck a Merrible Merror."

Hiccup gave them his perfected "I-can't-believe-you-call-yourself-a-human" sarcastic stare. "Thank you for summing that up," he grumbled. Hiccup turned back to look at the sea, determined to ignore his new friends for a while now. A shadow passed overhead.

"She has _great_ timing!" Tuffnut said admiringly. Hiccup looked around just in time to see Astrid land with her Deadly Nadder just a few feet down the dock from them. She smiled as she dismounted. Hiccup scrambled as best as he could to his feet.

"Astrid! Hey…Astrid. Hey, Astrid. Hi, Astrid," Hiccup babbled. He promptly shut his mouth when he heard someone who sounded suspiciously like Tuffnut snort behind him.

"Hey, Hiccup," she said. _Oh, Gods. Why is she walking over here? Why is she walking over here? _Hiccup thought frantically. She stopped right in front of him, hands on her hips.

"So Ruffnut and I were going to watch some of the competitions on Thor'sday Thursday up near the cliff looking over Black Heart Bay. It's great for watching the boat races and they're always right around midday so we'll have a lunch and everything…you wanna come?"

Hiccup was sure she could see his heart almost exploding from his ribcage underneath his skinny frame. "Uh, um, sure. That-that-that'd be great." Astrid smiled.

"Great!" she said, sounding like she meant it (but she couldn't, could she?) "We'll meet you after the Ugliest Baby Contest and feel free to bring a friend." She looked out at the sea. "Hey, the Meatheads are here," she observed. Sure enough, the ships of the Meatheads from the nearby Meathead Island could be seen on the horizon. Apparently, Stoick had had a hard time convincing them while Hiccup was still knocked out that they were _not _being overrun by dragons and they were _not _insane for keeping them as pets. A few cuddly and well-behaved Terrible Terrors were all it took for them to be convinced, though, apparently, they were still wary of Toothless. The Hooligan tribe was encouraged to make sure their dragons were on their best behavior during the festival, or to keep them at home-whichever option they believed wouldn't result in one of the Meatheads trying to behead a dragon.

"I'll see you guys in the Great Hall, later," Astrid said, climbing up on her Nadder. She flew off and the boys moved toward their dragons, too.

"Well, that settles it," Tuffnut decided, swinging a leg over his head of the Zippleback. "Astrid is trying to set you up with the bitchy friend."

Hiccup's heart fell a little. Astrid didn't _really_ like him, then. He shrugged, trying to act nonchalant.

"Yeah, that-that's fine. And your sister isn't a _bitch_, she's just…different."

Tuffnut snorted. "Yeah, different in that she's a bitch and other people aren't."

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**And that is chapter one! I still haven't decided who's going to be the equivalent of Kirk's skanky ex-girlfriend. It's a little troublesome considering Hiccup's probably never _had _a girlfriend. It could either be Ruffnut or an OC. The choices. Anyway, thanks for reading. Don't forget to review.**


	2. Double Date Surprise

**WOW! I got a lot of reviews! I'm glad you all liked the first chapter. Well here's chapter two! And it's about twice as long as the last chapter. Now there are some anonymous reviews I need to reply to here.**

Interested- **I'm only on the fourth chapter of "How to Speak Dragonese" which I do believe is the book Camicazi first appears in. So instead of making you guys wait until I finish the book, I created an O.C. that is introduced in this chapter.**

toothless 23- **This is a T-rated fanfic that's going to be bumped up to M for later chapters because it's based on an R-rated movie. So kids shouldn't be reading this because there will be more cussing. If you don't like it, don't read it.**

**Also, the events in this chapter are based on the festival from the first book. I just added the sailing contest because I thought that was a nice way for our group to get away from the crowds.**

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**Chapter Two: Double Date Surprise**

The one thing Hiccup never looked forward to when the Meatheads came to Berk was meeting them on the beach. His father had dragged him down there every year and every year he was squashed between his father and Gobber while the boys from the other tribe made jeering remarks at him and Stoick would get angry and embarrassed. So Hiccup had made excuses over the years or purposely got himself in trouble and for the past three years, his plan worked.

This year, however, Hiccup was told that he _had_ to be down at the beach. Well, he went there and nobody said anything about him, though they did stare at his new leg. As an added bonus: nobody came near him. There were perks to having a fearsome Night Fury as a best friend.

Anticipation and excitement for the events the next day ran throughout the camp on the beach and in the Great Hall that night. Gobber was loudly proclaiming to anybody who would listen that this was _his year. _This was _the _year that he was finally going to win the _How Many Gulls' Eggs Can You Eat In One Minute? _contest while simultaneously beating the record of forty-eight gulls' eggs.

"I bet three mugs of mead that Gobber will get to twenty before he hurls," Snotlout said to his friends. Tuffnut snorted.

"I bet _five _mugs of mead that he barely gets to _fifteen,_" he challenged. Ruffnut plopped down next to her brother.

"Amateurs," she scoffed. "Two mugs of mead says Gobber will get to twelve before he turns an unpleasant shade of green. And then he'll be puking for about fifteen minutes after that." Hiccup pushed his food away.

"Thanks, Ruffnut. I've officially lost my appetite." Toothless instantly rested his head on the table and gave Hiccup his biggest toothless grin. Hiccup sighed and pushed the plate over to Toothless. "Just remember to eat the _food _and not the _plate_, this time, buddy!" he reminded the dragon. Toothless huffed indignantly.

"Hey guys!" Astrid called. They all looked up to see an axe suddenly wedge itself into the table, right between Tuffnut and Snotlout. The two boys yelped in surprise and promptly fell off the bench. Ruffnut was clutching at her sides and turning red in the face from laughing so hard. Hiccup and Fishlegs never looked so pale in their lives. Smiling, Astrid wrenched her axe out from the table and sat down next to Hiccup.

"Think it's sharp enough?" she asked, turning the axe in her hand. It glinted in the candlelight. Hiccup still had a hand clutched to his chest.

"Sorry, what was that?" he finally gasped. "I was having a flashback of when you found Toothless." Astrid laughed, setting the axe gently down on the table.

"Just practicing for the _Axe Throwing Competition_. Are we still on for tomorrow?" Hiccup found it just a little hard to think when those big blue eyes were blinking at him.

"Um, yes-yeah. Yes. Wha-why-why wouldn't we be?" Hiccup stammered. Ruffnut laughed loudly only to be instantly silenced by Astrid's hard glare.

"Just…making sure," Astrid said casually. _A little _too _casually, _a voice whispered in the back of Hiccup's brain. "I'm going home to get some sleep. We'll meet you by the cliff."

"By the cliff," Hiccup repeated, his tongue gone completely dry. Astrid punched his arm-surprisingly gentle this time-and she left the Hall. Ruffnut followed close behind. A horrible thought struck Hiccup: what if this was all a trick? What is Astrid was just setting him up as some big joke?

He sighed worriedly and looked over at Toothless.

"No! Toothless! Bad dragon! Spit out the plate! That is _not _food!"

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Hiccup kept waking up at random intervals in the night and constantly tossed and turned. Toothless, worried, licked his face and hair. But when he established that Hiccup wasn't sick, he smacked him the face with his tailfin to shut the boy up.

He finally settled into sleep and didn't wake up until Stoick shook him awake and threw a pile of clothes at him. Hiccup was going to have to practice walking upstairs so he wouldn't have to sleep and change down here. The more embarrassing part was that he sometimes still needed help from his father to get his pants on. Stoick didn't seem to mind, though. With his help, Hiccup sat back down on the bed and began to strap on his prosthetic leg. Stoick was walking around the house, looking for something. He was rubbing his hands together while muttering "Today's my lucky day. _Today_ is my lucky day."

"Did you bet on the _Ugliest Baby Contest _again?" Hiccup asked curiously. Stoick nodded happily.

"Have you _seen _Goggletoad?" he asked. " Never before have I seen such an ugly little thing. Ah! Here we are!" He found the "breat hat" he had given Hiccup. "To keep you safe when the hammers start flying in the first contest." He dropped the hat in his son's lap. Hiccup gingerly moved it to the side and stood up.

"Dad, just out of curiosity, you didn't try to enter _me _into that contest, did you?" he wondered.

Stoick shook his head. "No, son. You weren't an ugly baby." Hiccup sighed in relief. "Plus your mother said she'd bludgeon me in my sleep if I tried." So much for a nice little father-son moment.

Long Beach was where all the festivities took place. The entire beach was filled with tents and booths filled with storytellers, fortune tellers, and merchants trying to sell little trinkets and souvenirs. Hiccup was almost forcibly dragged into one of these tents by some of the younger children.

"Oh, _please _tell us the story of how you and Toothless killed the Green Death!" they pleaded. "Please! Please! Please!"

"I will later," he promised as he finally wrenched himself from the kids, with the help of Toothless. Snotlout and Tuffnut were laughing.

"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, defeater of the Green Death, heir to Stoick the Vast: brought down by a bunch of five-year-olds who want to hear a story," Snotlout declared. Hiccup shoved him.

"Shut up," he mumbled. "We've got to get to the gulls' eggs contest." On the way, some of the Meathead boys were calling out "Hey, Stainer!" and "How've you been, Stainer?" and "Long time, no see. Right, Stainer?" And Tuffnut would answer them back. Suddenly, Ruffnut and Astrid appeared next to them.

"I give up," Astrid admitted. "Why do they keep calling you 'Stainer'?" Hiccup suddenly became very interested in scratching Toothless behind the ears. Tuffnut shrugged.

"It doesn't mean anything. It's just a nondescript nickname the Meatheads have for me. It doesn't mean anything."

Ruffnut rolled her eyes. _"Right,"_ she said skeptically. Tuffnut gave her a glare that quite obviously meant "shut up."

"Oh, look. Headbands," Ruffnut pointed out. Astrid's eyes lit up at the sight of the booth. She waved goodbye to the boys. Hiccup's stomach twisted uncomfortably again as he watched her walk off.

"Relax, Hiccup," Fishlegs encouraged. "Astrid wouldn't ditch you as a joke. She's better than that." Toothless nodded in agreement. He had already told all of them of his suspicions earlier that day.

"But Astrid's…_really _hot!"

Tuffnut scoffed. "Yeah, but you said that same shit about Maija," he pointed out. Coincidentally, Maija happened to be walking up to them. Snotlout and Fishlegs began to shake their heads wildly at Tuffnut and Hiccup was signaling for him to shut up.

"And let's face it," Tuffnut continued, "Maija was kind of a skank." Just now did he notice the tiny little brunette glaring at him with her dark eyes. It was true that compared to the other girls and women of the village, Maija didn't exactly dress "modestly" but people didn't point that out to her unless they wished to sleep with one eye open.

"Uh, hi!" Tuffnut greeted nervously, clearing his throat. "Hi, Maija. We were just talking about…Maija, the name, and how it's unfortunate that it's not more common."

"Fuck you, Tuffnut," Maija spat.

"Ah! You didn't let me finish!" Tuffnut pointed out. "More common…for skanks." In an instant, Maija's knife was out of and pointing at Tuffnut. Toothless growled dangerously in warning. The two heads of Tuffnut's Zippleback were suddenly growling in Maija's ears. Knowing this was a battle she couldn't win, Maija put the knife away. The dragons backed off.

She shoved through the boys, muttering something that sounded like "Get out of my way you losers."

Tuffnut shuddered at the experience. Fishlegs went back to their previous conversation. "What does Astrid being pretty have to do with anything?"

"In my experience, girls like Astrid don't tend to notice me unless I've done something to annoy them. So I must've done something extra annoying to her lately for her to set something _this _elaborate up." He racked his brains for what he might've done since he woke up. Nope, nothing. He couldn't think of a single thing. But he'd find out soon.

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Stoick won his bet on the _Ugliest Baby Contest._ Snotlout was rather disgruntled as he and Hiccup landed on the hill by the cliff. He had lost his bet on the Gulls' Eggs contest. The only bright side was that Ruffnut had, too.

Snotlout's Monstrous Nightmare, Fireworm, yawned loudly before she turned around and started trumping off to Snotlout's house for a nap.

"Come on, look at the bright side," Hiccup encourage. "You may have to buy Tuffnut all that mead, but he's going to be get _really_ drunk and end up doing something embarrassing." This cheered Snotlout up significantly. Toothless suddenly cooed happily, looking up at the sky. He ran around in a circle and then sat by Hiccup, wriggling in excitement. Hiccup looked up in surprise to see a Deadly Nadder with two familiar blondes on its back coming in for a landing.

"Oh my, Gods!" Hiccup whispered in surprise. "She's here! I didn't think she'd show up!"

"That makes two of us!" Snotlout whispered back in equal surprise. The girls landed near them and dismounted with their baskets. Toothless looked anxiously at Astrid. She _always_ gave him some fish. _Surely_ she had some now? Right? Right?

"Hey!" Hiccup greeted. "You're-you're here!" Astrid smiled and patted Toothless on the head.

"Well the race is about to start right off of Long Beach," she explained, opening her basket, "so we wanted to get settled in." She pulled a fish out of the basket and tossed it to Toothless, who gulped it down happily. The group spread out their picnic under the shade of a large tree. Toothless curled up on the other side of the trunk to have a little nap. Astrid's Nadder went to admire itself in a nearby puddle. In Hiccup's mind, Tuffnut's words kept echoing: _she's setting you up with the bitchy friend._ It's not that he didn't _mind _Ruffnut, but…being so close to Astrid right now, having her actually listen to him, laugh at the things he said (while he was being intentionally funny), and the feeling that coursed through him when her head touched his shoulder while she was laughing especially hard…he just wished Astrid showed more of an interest.

"Oh, hey! You can see one of the boats!" Astrid pointed out. Sure enough, a boat was sailing into view. They all studied it and were happy to see it was one of Berk's ships.

"Alright!" Snotlout cheered, accidentally elbowing Ruffnut as he did so. "One of our teams are taking home the prize this year!" An older married couple walked past them from the direction of the Meathead camp. The woman dropped a leather pouch but didn't seem to notice. Hiccup stood up.

"I'll be right back," he told the group. He hobbled over to the leather pouch-full of _money_-and then called to the couple, "Hey! Wait up!" The two stopped as Hiccup held out their lost property.

"You dropped this," he panted. He was going to have to practice running with his prosthetic, too. They thanked him and went on their way to the festival. Hiccup turned back to his friends and froze almost immediately. There was _another _guy, no doubt from the Meathead tribe, talking to Astrid. He seemed to know her. As Hiccup walked back toward them, the guy sat down next to Astrid in-what was just a few moments ago-_Hiccup's _spot.

Toothless instantly sprung into action and was in the guy's face, growling menacingly. Hiccup had a moment of pleasure when he saw the boy turn white.

"Why-why is it growling at me?" he asked. "What did I do?"

"You sat in Hiccup's spot," Ruffnut and Snotlout pointed out. The boy looked around for Hiccup and held his hands up in surrender.

"Honest mistake," he said. Toothless backed off to let him stand and move out of the way. It was only after Hiccup sat down that he recognized the other guy: it was Thuggory, heir to the Meathead tribe.

"Long time, no see, Hiccup!" Thuggory greeted. "So is that the dragon that caused…that?" he gestured to Hiccup's leg.

Hiccup shook his head. "It was an explosion caused by a bigger dragon that Toothless saved me from."

"Toothless?" Thuggory muttered. He was confused, like most villagers were when they heard the name because he was _quite _sure he had just seen teeth on that thing.

"Well I was just catching up with Astrid, here," Thuggory said. Hiccup looked over at Astrid for further explanation.

"Thuggory and I competed against each other last year in the _Axe-Throwing Competition_," she explained. "This year, too, I assume."

"Aw, come on," Thuggory said, feigning hurt. "We're _more _than that." He turned to Hiccup. "Astrid and I used to date," he explained.

"Oh!" Hiccup exclaimed. He took a big gulp of water, his mouth feeling dry. Astrid's eyes narrowed.

"We didn't _date,"_ she corrected. "I beat you and our terms were the loser buys mead for the winner."

Thuggory just smiled under Astrid's glare. "It hurts that you think so little of me. I'll see you down at the beach." He shouldered his axe and swaggered away, whistling. Astrid shook her head.

"I'm going to get some more bread from the saddlebags," Astrid decided, standing up. Snotlout nodded knowingly and stood up, too.

"I'll come help," he said. As he followed Astrid, he turned back to Ruffnut and Hiccup. "You two stay. Talk." He accidentally stepped on Ruffnut's foot as he left. Ruffnut scowled after him. Once he was out of earshot, she scooted close to Hiccup.

"Listen, Hiccup, while we have a minute here: Astrid always tries to drag me to these kind of things to set me up and it's kind of why she brought me along today. But to tell you the truth: I'm not interested. No offense," she added. Hiccup shrugged.

"None taken," he assured her. "I assume that _I _am probably not _your _type." Ruffnut looked a little confused.

"I was talking about Snotlout," she said slowly.

Hiccup laughed nervously. "What, do you think we're on like a double-date or something?"

"Yeah."

"But that would mean…" Realization dawned over Hiccup. He felt himself shake his head. "No," he said. This just didn't happen. _Especially _to him.

Ruffnut nodded. "Yeah," she corrected. "Hiccup, Astrid's into you."

Hiccup was quite sure he just felt his brain implode.

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**And that's the end of chapter two! So here's how the HTTYD characters match up with SOOML characters**

**Hiccup- Kirk**

**Astrid- Molly**

**Ruffnut- Patti**

**Tuffnut- Stainer**

**Snotlout- Jack**

**Fishlegs- Devan**

**If you saw the movie, you noticed that Snotlout took Tuffnut's place at the picnic, but it was kind of necessary so Tuffnut wasn't going on a double date with his sister. They might switch again, as necessary.**

**Now exposition for Maija: she's a family friend of Snotlout's and Hiccup's. So unfortunately, she's at family gatherings every so often. Her name also means "sea of bitterness."**

**Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!**


	3. The Guy's A Five

**So this chapter is a little shorter than the last one, but I think you will enjoy it all the same.**

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**Chapter Three: The Guy's A Five**

"Could you repeat that one more time?" Tuffnut slurred. "I think this hangover is messing with my mind. Because there is _no way_ I just heard you say that my sister said-"

"She said it!" Hiccup snapped from the other side of the boulder. He was wrapping his stump with new bandages and he was still a little sensitive about people seeing it-even if he was told half the village had already seen it in much worse condition. Tuffnut was slumped on the other side of the boulder, his head pounding. Snotlout and Fishlegs were taking turns skipping stones across the pond.

"Don't _shout!" _Tuffnut hissed. "It hurts my head. It hurts. It is very much hurt."

Snotlout skipped another stone across the pond. "I'm kind of agreeing with Tuffnut, here," he said. "Not about the head thing, but about the Astrid thing. You're a great guy, but there is just _no way _that Astrid is _in _to you. Why would she bring a friend to that picnic if that was the case?"

Hiccup strapped his leg back on and stood up, a little wobbly, and hobbled back over to the group.

"Well," he grunted as he limped over the terrain, "Astrid brought Ruffnut for _you _but she thought you were a moron."

Snotlout scowled. "You're telling me that the hottest girl I've ever met in my life wants _you_ and Ruffnut didn't like _me?_" All the boys gave him a look. Snotlout shrugged. "Nothing new, then." Tuffnut snickered. Hiccup walked over to Toothless and scratched him behind the ears.

"It's a pretty impressive catch, Hiccup," Fishlegs said in a congratulatory manner. Hiccup smiled, but didn't say anything as he picked up his own stone and tried to skip it across the pond.

"Come on, guys. You have to face the facts," Tuffnut insisted. "Hiccup's awesome, but let's face it: the guy's a five." Hiccup turned around, confused. He was _what?_

"Tuffnut, that's not fair," Fishlegs scolded. He regarded Hiccup for a few moments. "He's at least a _six._"

"A _six?"_ Tuffnut sounded incredulous. "Go ahead. Get his hopes up. _I'm _just being honest.

"Come on, guys, cut him some slack. If you add half a point for him being a nice guy and another half point for him being funny, that brings him up to a six," Snotlout reasoned.

"How am I only a _six?_" Hiccup demanded. "Do you not remember that battle with the Green Death? That thing was the size of the mountain and I saved your butts from it! That should make me a ten!"

Tuffnut nodded. "Normally, it would, _but_ you have two issues: your dragon and your leg-or lack thereof."

"My leg is a battle scar!" Hiccup insisted. "And _Toothless _is a _Night Fury!_ One of the most powerful and fearsome dragons of all time."

Toothless growled.

"Sorry. I meant, _the _most powerful and fearsome dragon of all time." Toothless purred contentedly. _That _was better. "Stuff like that shouldn't get me a _ten._ That should make me off the charts."

Tuffnut raised a hand and pointed it-a little unsteadily-at Hiccup. "I'll laugh at you for that later," he promised. "You see, your leg, while a cool battle scar, makes you more of a liability to the village than before until you can learn to move faster on it. Now _Toothless_, whom I admit is an awesome dragon, pretty much makes you unapproachable. He'll snap at anybody unfamiliar unless you tell him not to."

Hiccup, as always, came to the defense of his loyal dragon. "He's only concerned about me with my new leg and he's trying to protect me."

"Yes, I'm sure Old Man Lang was just asking for it when Toothless snapped his cane in half," Snotlout said sarcastically.

Okay, _that _had been bad. "But-" Hiccup began to protest. Snotlout held up a hand to silence him, and then turned toward the village, cupping his hands over his mouth

"NIGHT FURY!" he bellowed.

Immediately, a chorus of "GET DOWN!" echoed back to them. Hiccup groaned and glared at Toothless, who was looking entirely too innocent.

"So, Hiccup's back down to a five," Tuffnut calculated. "Meanwhile, Astrid is a _solid ten. _And that five point disparity, that is a chasm and you can't jump more than two points."

Hiccup was getting aggravated. "Where do you get this shit?" he demanded.

"Trust me, Hiccup," Tuffnut said, crossing his arms behind his head, "_I _can't even get a ten." Snotlout snorted.

"Oh, not even you?"

Tuffnut looked indignant. "I'm a _six!" _he insisted.

"Bull_shit_ you're a six! Then what am I?"

"You're an eight."

Snotlout shrugged, seeming fine with that answer. "Fine, then. You're a six."

_"But,"_ Tuffnut added, "I get a one point bump because I'm in a band."

Hiccup smacked a hand to his forehead. "Your group is _pirate-themed!_ I'm pretty sure that's a _deduction._"

"Frightening Foreigners is a _tribute band, _so that puts me back up at a seven. On a good day, the best I can bag is a nine."

Fishlegs sighed. "I think this system is ridiculous," he said. The stone he threw skipped five times before it sank underneath the water. "If someone _really _loves you, then you _are _a ten." The rest of the boy stared at him.

Snotlout shook his head slowly. "Never before have I heard something so girly come out of a guy's mouth. Nothing you're saying right now is of _any _help to Hiccup."

Toothless' ears perked up and he looked eagerly up the hill. Hiccup followed his gaze and saw-what do you know?-Astrid, starting down the slope. She waved when she saw Hiccup and gestured for him to come up the hill. She wanted to talk. He hobbled up the hill to her. The rest of the boys were staring unashamedly.

"Hey, Astrid!" Hiccup called as he approached her.

"Hey, Hiccup. Those idiots aren't giving you any trouble are they?" she asked. She either didn't notice or didn't care that they were all staring. Hiccup shook his head.

"They wouldn't dream of doing anything stupid with Toothless around," he laughed. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying not to feel embarrassed. "Th-thanks for yesterday. I had a lot of fun and I know you've heard this already like a million times but you did really great in the contest yesterday."

Astrid didn't respond to that comment. Instead, she shook her bangs out of her eyes and asked "What're you doing tomorrow?"

Hiccup shrugged, not realizing where this was going. "Gobber wanted me to try to work in the forge tomorrow."

Astrid nodded. "You want to hang out when you get off of work?" _BA BOOM! BA BOOM!_ went Hiccup's heart.

"Uh, uh, uh," stammer Hiccup. "Yeah, sure! That'd be great." Astrid smiled.

"Good, then," she said, seeming extremely pleased. "It's a date." Hiccup's knees nearly buckled at the word "date." There was a splash from the pond. They both looked to see three soaking wet teenage boys and a very amused Toothless. Astrid punched Hiccup's arm.

"You need to learn to discipline your dragon more," she informed him when he demanded to know what the punch was for. Then she gave him a quick peck on the cheek and with an "I'll see you tomorrow!" she sprinted back toward the village. Hiccup, in a daze, stumbled back down the hill and sat next to Toothless, leaning against his side. The other boys were looking at him expectantly. They were waiting for an answer, but Hiccup had drifted off to another world entirely.

"What'd she say?" Fishlegs asked impatiently.

It took a moment for Hiccup to answer. "I-I think she just…asked me out."

* * *

The next day, Astrid was in her bedroom when her best friend Ruffnut barged in.

"I just had an interesting conversation with my brother," she said casually. Astrid nodded.

"Did it involve punching?" she asked. She held up a leather skirt that-surprisingly-was _not _spiked. "What do you think of this?"

"It's nice," Ruffnut said offhandedly. Astrid frowned and tossed it back on the pile of clothes on her bed. "You have a date tonight? With _Hiccup?" _she asked. Astrid smiled and nodded.

"Hence, the explosion of my wardrobe," Astrid explained, gesturing to the chaos around her. Indeed, almost every single item of clothing she owned was flung around the room as she tried to pick out what to wear.

"When do you want the bad date bailout?" Ruffnut asked, flopping down on to the only space on the bed that wasn't occupied by clothes.

"I don't want it," Astrid replied, holding up a dark tunic to herself. That one looked nice.

Ruffnut rolled her eyes. "No, seriously, just tell me where you guys are going and I'll wait an hour-no, _half_ an hour-and I'll come by and make up some excuse. How about I say your dragon ate someone's cat?"

"I'm not gonna need it!" Astrid insisted. Ruffnut rolled her eyes again.

"Whatever," she grumbled. Astrid threw a shoe at her. "Ow!"

_"What_ is your problem with Hiccup?" she demanded.

"I don't have a problem with Hiccup. I have a problem with you _dating_ Hiccup," Ruffnut clarified. She sat up and looked at Astrid. "You dated Thuggory and you got hurt so you pick a guy like Hiccup because he's safe."

_"OR,_ maybe because he's just a nice guy!" Astrid fired back.

"He won't be so nice when he finds out you lied about Thuggory," Ruffnut muttered. Then she sighed. "Hiccup's not the kind of guy girls like you usually end up with."

Astrid smiled. "Yeah, I know." The idea made her ridiculously happy.

* * *

Hiccup went to put up a shield on the wall. He stopped two feet from the wall and dropped the shield. It rolled and crashed into another part of the shop. Hiccup blinked. "Oops," he yawned. Gobber groaned and, through the open window, noticed Tuffnut strolling by.

"Tuffnut!" he yelled. "Take Hiccup home! The lad's done more yawning than work today!"

Hiccup was grateful and let the other boy drag him out of the shop with Toothless trailing behind them the moment they left.

"What's the matter with you?" Tuffnut demanded. "You look like Hel."

Hiccup groaned. "I got like, thirty minutes of sleep last night. What am I even supposed to say to her tonight? Just…talk about her ridiculous hotness for two hours?"

Tuffnut shrugged. "I don't know. Snotlout said you were pretty smooth at the picnic."

Hiccup shook his head. "That was when I didn't think I stood a chance in Hel with her! I just don't get it! _Why _would _she _ask _me _out?"

Tuffnut thought about it for a second. "Are you dying?" he asked.

"Huh?" Hiccup said, thoroughly confused.

"Maybe you're sick and she just wants to get close to you so she can have Toothless." Said dragon whined worriedly. Hiccup patted his head.

"No, Tuffnut, I'm not terminally ill." Tuffnut shrugged and muttered something that sounded like "Whatever." He stopped short, his face going ghostly white.

_"Whoa!" _he said, putting an arm out in front of Hiccup to stop him.

"Wha-?" Hiccup said, confused.

"Let's go this way!" Tuffnut started trying to shove Hiccup in another direction. Hiccup followed his gaze to the nearby field where there were some women tending to the sheep. One girl with strawberry blonde hair stood out in particular. She was looking back at them.

"Who's that?" Hiccup asked. Tuffnut stammered for an answer. The girl waved and Hiccup began to wave back. Tuffnut slapped his hand down.

_"Nobody! _Nobody! She's just…some chick that I boned when I was…drunk. She's a total psycho!" he added almost hysterically. "Come on let's go this way! It's quicker." The girl in the field sighed and shook her head as the boys disappeared. Tuffnut still hadn't changed.

* * *

**Sorry if you were expecting the date. That's _next _chapter! Why? Because I'm blanking on what they could do for their date, that's why! Thanks for reading, don't forget to review!**


	4. She Kissed You?

**It's the date! Hooray! How will Hiccup survive this ordeal that is more terrifying than battling the Green Death? Well, read it if you really want to know! Also, if you could leave a review...**

**Enjoy the chapter!

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**Chapter Four: She Kissed You?**

Hiccup was pretty certain of what he wanted to do that night for the date. It all depended on whether everything went according to plan and whether or not Astrid had made their plans. She _had _been the one to ask him out. So Hiccup had a few things in a basket by the stairs, just in case. He was just about to grab those things and head back out to the shop when someone knocked on the door.

Hiccup groaned. He hoped whoever it was he could get rid of them _fast_ so he could go meet Astrid. Toothless pulled on his sleeve urgently. It seemed at times that the dragon was more excited for the date than Hiccup was. Or maybe he was just excited to go flying.

"Toothless, cut that out," Hiccup pleaded. He reached for the door handle. That was when Toothless tackled him to the ground and started licking his hair, making it stick up at all kinds of angles.

"ARGH! Toothless! Stop that! I'm _clean!_ I don't need another-GAH! You just got spit in my _ear!_ Stop trying to give me a bath you useless dragon!" Toothless ignored his human and just kept grooming him. Honestly, if Hiccup wasn't going to take the time to look good for what he was sure was an important night, then Toothless would have to clean him up himself.

"Come in!" Hiccup called as Toothless nudged him into a sitting position. Hiccup began to get up, but Toothless pinned him to the floor by his vest with one his paws. The dragon started getting the back of his head as, low and behold, Astrid pushed open the door and peered inside. The girl honestly tried not to laugh, she really did. But the sight was too much.

"Go ahead and laugh it up," Hiccup grumbled, his face turning rather red from embarrassment. "Toothless, go clean Astrid!" But all Toothless did was flash Astrid a gummy smile and go over to her to rub his head under her chin.

"Traitor," Hiccup grumbled. He pulled himself up from the floor-rather unsteadily-and did his best to flatten his hair. "I was, uh…just going down to meet you at the shop." He smiled nervously. Astrid was scratching Toothless behind the ears.

"Tuffnut said you were here," she replied simply. Toothless whined when Astrid's hand dropped. "What do you want to do?"

It would be so much easier for him to concentrate if his heart wasn't pounding so hard against his chest. "Oh, well…I had a, um, back-up plan of sorts if you didn't, you know, plan anything."

She put her hands on her hips and smiled. "What _is _the plan?"

* * *

One thing that Hiccup _hadn't _planned for was for Astrid to carry the basket on her back. He would've had Toothless carry it, but Astrid could be stubborn, so she got her way. Of course, this allowed her to wrap her arms around Hiccup's waist and rest her head on his shoulder…maybe her carrying the basket was a good idea after all.

Hiccup would later admit that he purposely double-backed and made a few wrong turns, just so he could have Astrid hold onto him a little longer.

They landed on an island that was nothing but rocks a few miles south of Berk. Nobody ever came here because of the rocky coastline and rough waves. It had been where Toothless and Hiccup rested after their first test flight and had been the perfect place for the pair to hide. Now, it made a perfect secluded spot for a first date.

Hiccup and Toothless fished for their dinner, Toothless started a fire and went a small distance away, which left Hiccup alone…with Astrid. There had never been a more exciting and terrifying situation for Hiccup. So of course, he began to babble about the story of this island for him and Toothless and about their first real flight. Astrid giggled every time he stumbled over his words or stuttered. She wasn't doing it to be mean, she just thought it was cute.

"Are you nervous?" she finally asked.

Hiccup scoffed like it was the most ridiculous suggestion anybody had made. Then the nervous smile dropped from his face and he admitted it with a distressed "Yes!" Astrid laughed as she adjusted her fish over the fire.

"Don't be nervous. It's only you and me."

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Astrid. That makes me feel so much better-the idea of you and me, all alone. Oh, wait, it doesn't."

Astrid shoved him playfully. "Well if it helps, I'm a little nervous, too."

"Astrid Hofferson? Nervous?" Hiccup shook his head. "I've never heard of such a thing in my life." Astrid laughed, turning her head away, so he wouldn't see her face turning red.

"Well, we're not _totally _alone," Hiccup pointed out, tilting his head toward his ebony dragon. "He is great for company."

Astrid tilted her head thoughtfully. "How do you think your mother would've reacted to Toothless?"

"She'd be complaining left and right about him tracking mud, scratching up the floorboards, and monopolizing all of my time," Hiccup answered simply. "But, I think she'd warm up to him and maybe a few Terrible Terrors. She'd probably even have a dragon of her own she could ride on." Hiccup stared into the fire, lost in his thoughts about his long gone mother.

"I miss her," Astrid admitted. Hiccup looked to her in surprise. The other children had known Valhallarama, but she had died when they were all around eight. There had been a mutual understanding amongst the children not to speak of Hiccup's mother-_especially_ to Hiccup. He had taken it rather hard.

"What are your parents like?" Hiccup asked curiously-he only knew them in passing. He took his fish out of the fire and poked it. He shrugged, supposing it was done, and cut a piece off with his dagger.

"Mom's always reliable in battle, but she knows all the household things like cooking and patching up clothing so she's been teaching me those things. Or at least, she's been _trying._" Hiccup laughed, sure that Astrid was just being hard on herself. She tended to do that a lot. Ruffnut was the one he would've pegged for being clueless about cooking.

"Dad's kind of an old-fashioned guy," Astrid continued. "He's always about security and being able to take care of yourself which is why he really pushed me to train so much-like I really _needed _any pushing. He always gives the advice 'Train hard, marry rich.' He says it like we're dirt poor or something." Astrid shivered violently all the sudden. The temperature _had _been dropping steadily, but Hiccup had come prepared. He put his fish down and went over to the basket. Flipping it open, he reached inside and pulled out some blankets. He brought one of them to Astrid and she let him drape it over her.

"You really thought this out, didn't you?" Astrid asked, somewhat admiringly. Hiccup smiled, but couldn't think of anything to say. He stared determinedly at the ground. "Thanks," she added, bringing the blanket closer to her.

Hiccup looked up at her. She was smiling. She wasn't bored. She actually seemed to be _enjoying _herself. Somebody pinch him!

"You're welcome," he mumbled sheepishly, spreading out the other blanket where he was sitting. He sat down again, looked over at Astrid, and-had Astrid just moved closer? Yes, yes, she had. She was trying to act casual about it and not looking at him while she ate her fish, but Hiccup knew better.

"So, nobody's ever really told me _exactly _what happened while I was knocked out," Hiccup mentioned. He leaned back on his hands to get a better look at the stars beginning to twinkle into view.

"Well, we all had quite a time explaining to the villagers who had stayed behind that the dragons were good and you were right all along," Astrid laughed, shaking her head. "They accepted it pretty quick and everyone started calling you the 'Hero of Berk.' Toothless hardly ever left your side. I made him go on short walks every once in a while so he could get some fresh air and some fish. I _did _raid some of your journals to see if there was anything in there that would help the village adjust to the dragons. Don't worry, I only flipped through and put it back if I didn't see anything about Toothless or dragons in there," she added in response to Hiccup's worried expression. "I visited you all the time, so did the rest of the gang and Gobber. Anyone besides us and your Dad had to get Toothless' approval."

Hiccup laughed. "That couldn't have gone over well." Toothless warbled suddenly, sitting up and staring at something in the sky. It took a minute for the two to make out the shape of a Terrible Terror. Astrid wanted to groan in frustration. Since the battle, many people had taken in Terrible Terrors as pets-especially the older crowd that didn't feel comfortable _riding_ their new friends. Since people had taken the tiny dragons in, it didn't take long for them to discover their many uses; one of them being the equivalent of carrier pigeons. Astrid took one look at the scroll tied to its leg and could easily guess who it was from.

Sure enough, the little Terror landed right next to Astrid. Rolling her eyes she took the scroll, skimmed it, and frowned at Ruffnut's excuse. Hiccup was waiting to hear what the note was about. He was surprised, however, when Astrid threw the note into the fire. Then she scooted even closer to Hiccup.

"I can ignore it," she explained. Hiccup's normally active, logical, and calculating brain went fuzzy just having her so close.

* * *

Of course, the night couldn't last forever and he had to take her home. Astrid kept the blanket around her, slightly wrapping Hiccup in it as well as she held on to him. The light from Astrid's house was dim as Hiccup landed in front of it. He hoped she wouldn't get in trouble.

Behind him, Astrid put the basket on the ground and swiftly folded the blanket, placing it back inside. "I had a nice time," she said. Hiccup glanced back at her, instantly aware of just how close her face was. He coughed and looked down.

"Me, too," he mumbled.

Astrid sighed. The boy was cute, but still painfully shy. "Thanks for the ride." She swung one leg down and tried to swing the other, but something stopped her. She looked behind her and saw that her boot had caught on _something _on the saddle. Now she was stuck in an awkward position with her right leg jutting out behind her.

"Um, Hiccup? Help?" Astrid asked, trying to free herself without relinquishing her boot. Hiccup's eyes went wide at the sight. Of _course _his date would end this way!

"Hold on," he said, detaching his leg from the stirrup. With one hand, he held Astrid's waist to keep her steady. With the other, he reached over and released her foot on whatever was holding it. As soon as she was free, Toothless _accidentally_-that is still debated to this day-bumped Hiccup, sending both rider and girl toppling over.

"Toothless!" Hiccup complained.

"Gah! You just elbowed my ribs!"

"Sorry!"

"Ow! You had a hand on my braid and it got yanked when I moved my head!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Stop apologizing and just get up without bruising me!"

"I'm trying!" If the sun was up, Astrid and Hiccup would've both been a brilliant shade of red. At least their only witness to this situation was Toothless. Otherwise, it would've been hard to explain why Hiccup was on top of Astrid in the grass. The boy finally managed to get himself off of her and he scooted away from her to allow her room to sit up.

"Oh, Gods! Are you okay?" Hiccup asked worriedly as Astrid brushed some blade of grass off of her tunic. She mumbled an "I'm fine, Hiccup" but he didn't hear it. He reached out and touched her braid. "I'm sorry! I didn't realize where it was!"

"It's fine," Astrid assured him, reaching out to brush some dirt off of his face. "It could've been worse. You could've yanked _all _of my hair out." Hiccup laughed nervously. That would've been bad. He stopped laughing when he realized just how close he was to Astrid…and how close Astrid was to him. She had a soft, almost dreamy smile on her face. Hiccup felt boiling inside him an odd combination of determination and terror. He wasn't about to let the terrified side of him win. He leaned in ever so slightly. Astrid's heart was beating just as much as Hiccup's as she began to lean in, too. Taking the encouragement, Hiccup closed the distance and touched his lips to Astrid's.

Kissing Astrid, Hiccup decided, was much better when he felt prepared and not stunned. He was able to thoroughly enjoy the experience: the feel of her lips, her hand on his, the way their lips moved together. It didn't last long. After a minute, they stopped. Hiccup's eyes were wide as he stared at the ground, his face feeling hot. Astrid grinned sheepishly, also looking in another direction.

Hiccup cleared his throat. "Thank you," he finally said.

"You're welcome," Astrid mumbled in reply. She kissed him swiftly on the cheek. "Good night." And with that she dashed off up the short path and through the front door. Hiccup sighed, content.

* * *

Tuffnut, Snotlout, and Fishlegs were all in a state of shock the next morning at breakfast in the Great Hall. Tuffnut was the first one to speak.

"_She _kissed you," Tuffnut said, trying to confirm what he had just heard. "_She _with her actual _mouth _kissed _you…_on _purpose_…again_?_"

Hiccup laughed. "Yeah, I know, I can't believe it either!" Fishlegs slapped him on the back.

"I'm happy for you, Hiccup," he said. Tuffnut shook his head.

"I'm not! I'm freaking out! It feels like the universe is out of order." Tuffnut's eyes widened. "One of us is gonna die!" he realized.

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Sure, say that to the guy who nearly _did _die," he pointed out. Tuffnut muttered a rather humble "Sorry."

"So what happens now? What's the next step?" Snotlout asked. "I'm referring, of course, to sexual relations." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Hiccup kicked him in the shin with his prosthetic. "OW!"

"Well, she's coming to the family dinner next week," he mentioned. Snotlout's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

"What? Are you crazy? She's coming to _our _family dinner? That's like jumping six steps!"

"She asked if I had any plans coming up on the way back and I said 'No, just a family dinner.' She asked me if she could come! What was I supposed to say?" Hiccup demanded.

"'I'm sorry, Astrid, but there's no way I would ever put you through that living Hel!'" Snotlout suggested.

Hiccup frowned. "I already know from my Dad that Maija's not going to be there!"

Snotlout sighed. "I'll see if I can somehow convince my brother not to come around." Snotlout's older brother had a streak of not only being a jerk to Hiccup, but Snotlout as well.

Tuffnut brushed some crumbs off of his tunic. "Well, that settles it. Ten minutes with your family and she'll be heading for the hills. Possibly another island. The world is safe again."

"Thank you for having so much faith in the relationship," Hiccup muttered.

* * *

**I have discovered, despite having a boyfriend for five years, I _suck _at writing anything to do with kissing. I really do! However, I will improve! I kind of have to, especially with how this story is going. It'll be a great way to learn. Anyway, review!**


	5. Family Affairs

**Don't you all love me for writing this so fast and getting it up? I typed almost EIGHT PAGES. So, yeah, you get a nice and long chapter. I'm sure you've noticed by now (if you've seen _She's Out of My League_) that I have both changed scenes and added scenes. This way, it's not like I'm watching the movie and changing the names and dialog slightly. This chapter is one of those cases except the scenes I've added are longer, but you'll like them. Plus they contain the lovely literary device known as foreshadowing! Enjoy the chapter!**

**Also, this is my first time trying to write like Gobber speaks. I love his voice, but it's frustrating to try and write that!**

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Usually, if Hiccup was being annoying in the shop, Gobber could just tell the boy to shut up. The boy did have the tendency to talk if he didn't have a task that needed his full attention. Today, it was the boy's unusually good mood that was annoying. It had been _way _too early for the boy to amble into the shop with a spring in his step-figuratively, this time-and practically sing _"Good _morning, Gobber!" The groggy blacksmith had the urge to smack the boy upside the head.

Why was he so damn _happy?_ That boy had a grin plastered to his face the whole time, even while he was lugging heavy equipment around. He even seemed to carry himself differently today. He was more confident. Though, this effect wasn't as impressive when you noticed his more pronounced limp. It was that limp that bothered Gobber more than anything else. Sure, the boy was expected to with one leg, but this was way too much. Hiccup was sketching in the back room-now considered his workshop-when Gobber realized what was causing the limp.

"Ah, Hel!" he groaned. "Hiccup!" he called. Hiccup opened the door from the back room and limped out into the shop. Gobber rubbed his forehead. It was just what he thought. "Ye frustratin' boy! I make ye a leg and ye've got the nerve to 'ave a growth spurt on me!"

"I'm getting taller?" Hiccup asked eagerly. "And I wouldn't call it a _spurt, _just a minor-"

"Ye're more like yer father than ye think. He shot up like a weed when he was around yer age." Hiccup shrugged.

"I'll cope with it somehow until I stop growing," he said nonchalantly, disappearing back into his workshop. Hiccup seemed downright _thrilled _at being taller. That boy was a headache. Rolling his eyes, Gobber shut the stall windows. He needed fresh air before he caught whatever it was Hiccup had. The lad _had _to be sick.

"Man the fort, Hiccup! I need to take care of a few things in the village!" Hiccup knew by now that that really meant "I'm tired of being in here and I'm going to leave because I'm the boss and you're the apprentice." Gobber limped to the door, muttering darkly about teenagers that had the audacity to grow a few inches taller, and nearly bumped into Astrid in the doorway.

"Hi, there, Astrid," Gobber greeted. Finally, somebody who was more sane than Hiccup. "What can I do for ye?"

Astrid glanced behind Gobber into the shop before answering. "My axe is looking a little dull so I was going to see if you guys could help me out."

"Hiccup will take care of ye. I'm goin' out for a bit." Astrid seemed to brighten up at that prospect as she moved out of the way for Gobber. She strolled into the shop, stopping only to pet the four Terrible Terrors that were curled up in the corner. Hiccup was already out of the back room, tying his apron on and beaming at her.

"Hey!" he greeted enthusiastically, walking up to her. She punched him in the arm. "Is that how you're _always _going to say hello?" he demanded, rubbing the already bruised area.

"I can't have you or the village thinking I've gone _soft_," Astrid explained. "But, since you're you…" She gave him a peck on the cheek.

"_That's _how you should say hello," Hiccup said. "It's nice."

Astrid laughed. "I'll think about it," she promised, setting her axe down on a nearby table. Hiccup looked at the blade and frowned. He picked up the axe and twirled it around in his hands.

"Astrid, this blade is plenty sharp," he said, setting it down again. Astrid grinned knowingly.

"I know," she replied. "It was just an excuse to come and say hi." Hiccup rubbed the back of his neck, a blush began to creep up on his face.

"You could have just said that," he pointed out. Astrid gave him a look.

"Because that would've gone over well with Gobber?"

Hiccup considered that. "Feel free to lie to Gobber and come by _any _time." Astrid laughed.

"How long do you think he'll be gone for?" Astrid asked, rocking back and forth on her heels. Hiccup shrugged.

"Probably for an hour or two. He's been in a bad mood all day," Hiccup complained. Astrid smiled and gave Hiccup a quick peck on the lips. It took him a moment to recover. "You know, I wouldn't mind if you said hello like _that _either." Astrid shook her head like she was silently telling him to just shut up already and leaned in to kiss him again, resting her hands on his shoulders.

Hiccup responded to kissing the same way with anything that was new to him: nice and slow. He was gentle as he kissed her back and tried to mimic her movements since he knew very little about this. Her lips were soft and slick against his and-what was that? Was that-? Hiccup nearly jumped back in surprise when he realized that was Astrid Hofferson's tongue was in his mouth. It was just a little bit, but it was there. Oh, Gods, what was he supposed to do now?

Before he could think of what to do next, Astrid pulled away, frowning. Crap! What did he do wrong?

"You're _way _too tense," she informed him. What! The apron should hide that!

"I am?" Hiccup gulped.

"Your arms are just…hanging there." Hiccup looked down. Yes, they were hanging at his sides rather stiffly. She had noticed? That was bad.

"Well, I'm-I'm new to this and…I don't know exactly what I _should _do with my hands and…I can't think of any other reason because my brain feels like it's made of mush right now!" Astrid rested her head on his shoulder as she laughed at that. "Plus, I've gone for many years with the knowledge that if I touch you, I'll get hurt."

"You _won't_," Astrid promised.

She moved one of Hiccup's hands to her waist and she leaned back in to kiss him. He let himself really enjoy the experience this time. He moved the hand on her waist to the small of her back and brought his other hand up to rest across her shoulder blades. She stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around his back. Her tongue darted into his mouth again. By instinct, he opened his mouth just a little bit more and she delved deeper inside. Hiccup inhaled sharply in surprise, but relaxed and lived in the moment. He wanted to try the same thing to her. He slipped his tongue past her teeth. She opened her mouth wider than he had had done. She pressed closer to him and-

"Hiccup! I forgot-" Gobber saw enough before the two teenagers flew apart in surprise. Astrid said nothing. She just grabbed her axe and sprinted from the shop, never looking back. Gobber was absolutely flabbergasted. Hiccup wished more than ever he could just disappear. Kissing Astrid had been great, no doubt about it. But did Gobber _have _to walk in when he did? Hiccup awkwardly started fiddling with some tools as Gobber slowly got over his shock and a big grin crept up on his face.

"So, _that's _how the customers are payin' now, is it?" he asked.

"Shut up," Hiccup muttered.

"It's an odd new policy, I admit" Gobber continued, chuckling. "Not te mention the awkwardness when it's somebody's wife in 'ere! But, when you're the Hero of Berk…"

"Okay, please stop talking!" Hiccup begged. "We should be concentrating on our craft, here and have a nice, pleasant work environment."

"Well ye _were _concentratin' awful hard there when I walked in and you seemed _plenty _pleased."

"For the love of-!" Gobber chuckled. Oh, today was going to be a good day after all.

* * *

Ruffnut was being a very good friend, she thought. She could be laughing her butt off at Astrid's story, but she didn't. It was mostly because she was sure Astrid would hit her if she tried. So instead, she patted her friend on the head. Astrid had her face buried in her hands again.

"It was _so embarrassing!"_ she complained again.

Ruffnut nodded. "Well, you were caught making out with _Hiccup, _so…"

Astrid glared at her. "We weren't _making out_. The whole thing barely lasted two minutes. And kissing Hiccup is _nice._ I liked it. It was just awkward having Gobber walk in all the sudden when Hiccup had his tongue-"

"Okay, _gross!" _Ruffnut interrupted, covering her ears. "I do _not _want to hear the details about your make-out sessions!"

"We weren't making out!" Astrid hissed. "And weren't you the one who wrote 'Mrs. Ruffnut Haddock' everywhere during training?" Ruffnut flushed with embarrassment.

"Still, why are you letting it get to you? You like the guy, don't you? You should be able to kiss him without people walking in on it and being too judgmental."

Astrid rubbed her temples. "I know, I know! It's just kind of…early in the relationship." Ruffnut rolled her eyes at the excuse.

"Well, if you're not embarrassed by it, your boyfriend's coming in now," Ruffnut mentioned casually. Astrid glanced at the doors and sure enough, Hiccup was there with Toothless beside him. She turned back around quickly. Ruffnut smirked. "Go talk to your boyfriend," she encouraged.

"Hiccup's not my boyfriend he's-" Astrid stopped and frowned. "I don't know _what _we are," she realized.

"Make-out buddies," Ruffnut suggested. That earned her a good yank of the hair.

Hiccup walked over to where his father was sitting first. Thankfully, nobody was sitting with him. He wasn't looking forward to running into Gobber again. After Astrid had left, things in the shop had been Hel.

"Hey, Dad?" Hiccup began. Stoick sighed. If this was about trying to teach him how to ride a dragon again...he loved his boy, but there was _no way _he was getting up in the air on one of those things. "Can I bring somebody to the family dinner next week?" he asked. Oh, this was a surprise.

"Sure," Stoick agreed. Hiccup smiled, thanked him, and went off to sit with his friends. Gobber sat down across from the chief not a minute later.

"What was tha' about?" he asked, taking a gulp of his mead.

"Hiccup wants to bring a friend to dinner next week," Stoick replied, thinking nothing of it. Gobber nearly choked from laughter. "What's so funny?"

"Well, Stoick. I don' think it'll be just a _friend_ the lad will be bringin'," Gobber admitted. Stoick didn't pick up on the hint.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, I left the shop for a few minutes today and when I came back, Hiccup and the Hofferson girl were gettin' to know each other _quite well._"

Stoick's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "They…they weren't…" He couldn't finish the horrible thought. Gobber caught on to what he was thinking and shook his head.

"No! No, Stoick! They weren't doin' that! I would've knocked the lad sensless if tha' was the case!" He clarified. Stoick breathed a huge sigh of relief. "No, they were just kissin' is all. But they like each other, that's for sure."

Stoick looked to his son, talking with his friends, to Astrid at a nearby table. They kept stealing glances at each other when the other wasn't looking.

"Y'know, Stoick, Hiccup is turnin' sixteen in the spring," Gobber mentioned casually. "Astrid, too, by next harvest. Her family's rather well-off, I might add. Not as good as some other families in the village, but still well-off." Stoick turned back to his friend.

"Your point, Gobber?"

"They like each other. They're a good match and you can't let Astrid become an old maid. Plus, since the war with the dragons is over, people can focus more on things like marriage again and who's to say another family won't open up negotiations for Astrid." Gobber waited as Stoick took it all in. This wasn't the first time that the subject of marriage had to be considered for Hiccup. He was the village screw-up, yes, but he was also the son of the chief. Families had dropped hints over the years how they'd like a marriage between their daughter and the heir to the tribe. But those had been greedy individuals who wanted to gain power through other people, not on their own. The Hoffersons, on the other hand were a good family and it was something to consider.

At Astrid's table, Ruffnut was teasing her. "I can't believe it," she laughed, shaking her head. "A few months ago you would've charged into battle without blinking an eye but when it comes to going over to sit with _Hiccup_ you're scared shitless!"

Astrid scowled. She was _not _scared and she'd prove it! She picked up her plate of food and her goblet and strolled over to the table where Hiccup was eating. Ruffnut stared after her for a moment before she picked up her plate and followed her. Hiccup was busy talking and didn't notice her approach until she sat down next to him.

"So then Toothless here decided it would be a good idea to play chase with one of the Terrible Terrors and…hi," he gulped. Astrid smiled and went back to eating her food. Slowly, so Hiccup wouldn't be stunned into silence again, she reached for his hand under the table and intertwined their fingers together. Hiccup gently rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand and continued his story where he had left off.

Stoick turned back to Gobber, looking pensive. "I'll need to think about it." But even as he said it, the chief couldn't help but imagine what it would be like having a daughter…he wouldn't even mind a few little babes around to call him "Grandpa."

* * *

Hiccup opened his front door when he heard a frantic knock. Astrid nearly bowled him over to get in out of the cold. Berk was on the doorstep of winter. It hadn't snowed yet, but it wouldn't be long until it did.

"I told you I'd pick you up at your house," Hiccup reminded her as she went over to the fire to warm her hands. Today was the day of the family dinner. Hiccup had told her she could back out any time she wanted, but she insisted that she really wanted to go. She knew who his relatives were. Why _would _she want to go?

"I needed the exercise," she said off-handedly. She put a hand on the back of Hiccup's neck and pulled him in for a quick kiss. "Hello!" she added happily.

Hiccup shivered. "Okay, warm up before you touch me again," he warned. Astrid laughed and went back over to the fire. Hiccup smiled at her, but the smile quickly turned into a frown. "Don't you have a cloak?" he asked.

"Couldn't find it," she replied.

"What about gloves?"

"Either they're lost or were eaten." She smiled playfully at him over her shoulder. Hiccup rolled his eyes and went upstairs. Toothless trailed behind him. Hiccup had been practicing walking up and down the stairs, but his loyal friend insisted on staying by him to catch him in case he fell. But Hiccup was definitely improving. He even managed to dress himself now.

He was back downstairs after a few minutes with furs draped over Toothless' saddle and something on his ears. He picked up one of the furs-a cloak, Astrid now realized-and brought it over to her.

"It's an old one of mine," Hiccup explained. "You can borrow it until you find yours." Astrid grinned. Hiccup really _was _the sweetest guy on the island. He took the things off of Toothless' ears and gave them to her. Mittens!

"But Toothless looked cute with these on," Astrid joked. She kissed Hiccup again, smiling. She hadn't come back to the shop since Gobber had caught them the other day. But if they had some time to spare after dinner, or they both happened to be wandering in the village or headed into the forest, they found time for each other. These times together were even long enough for Astrid to qualify them as "making out."

Hiccup patted Toothless' head. "You coming with us, buddy? You could hang out with Fireworm." Toothless growled at that suggestion. Ever since that unfortunate incident where Fireworm had nearly killed Hiccup, the two dragons weren't on the _best _of terms. They had improved: they were down to merely glaring at each other whenever they got within a ten foot radius of each other.

"Guess not. We'll be going then, since Dad's already there." He watched Astrid fasten his cloak around her. It fit perfectly. Gloved hand in gloved hand, the two set out. Astrid was hoping Hiccup's family would like her. Hiccup was wishing he had a different family.

* * *

Stoick was sitting with his brother Spitelout and Gobber by the fire when Hiccup and Astrid finally arrived.

"Aunt Agda?" Hiccup called, holding his hand out for Astrid's cloak as she took it off. Agda was Snotlout's mother. Whereas Gobber was like a second father to Hiccup, Agda was a second mother since Valhallarama passed. She treated Hiccup as if he was her own and sometimes bordered on smothering with her motherly care.

"Hi, sweetie!" Agda sang, coming in from the kitchen. She stopped at the sight before her: Hiccup taking Astrid's coat and hanging it up for her, the two standing there together, Hiccup's arm around her waist. Agda just about died from happiness. Meanwhile, Stoick was beaming at the sight with all the pride a father could have at finally seeing his son with a girl, Spitelout was in shock, Gobber was still trying to fight down a fit of laughter that always seemed to infect him when he saw the pair together, and Hiccup and Astrid stood there with polite smiles, wishing someone would say _something_.

"Hi!" Agda gasped. "Hi Astrid! I'm Hiccup's aunt!" she added enthusiastically as if Astrid had forgotten this information.

"Hi, Agda," Astrid replied, trying not to laugh. Spitelout was nodding in approval.

"Nice…" he trailed off. Agda kicked him.

"To see you again," Agda finished for him.

"Nice to see you again," Spitelout echoed. Gobber turned his head away and attempted to clear his throat. He couldn't start laughing. Not here!

"Do you need any help?" Astrid asked, gesturing to the kitchen.

"Just for a minute!" Agda promised, grabbing Astrid's wrist and dragging her toward the kitchen. "Hiccup, everyone else is out back, go say hello to them." _Look at the bright side, _Hiccup encouraged himself as he opened the back door, _the people you really don't like shouldn't be here._ He was nailed in the head with a basyball the moment the door closed behind him. Familiar laughter accompanied the hit.

"That was only funny when he wasn't missing a leg, Scablout!" a young woman's voice scolded. Snotlout helped Hiccup back up, looking extremely remorseful. Scablout sat back down beside his wife, Thora. She was starting to show the couple's first pregnancy.

"You look good, Thora," Hiccup complimented. "Scablout, it's nice to see you…even though I was told you weren't going to be here."

"Sorry," Snotlout muttered. He went back over to his dragon Fireworm, who wanted her belly scratched.

"So, Hiccup," Scablout called, "is missing a limb a requirement for being a blacksmith now?"

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Look, I brought a girl with me…and I am _begging _you not to be a total jerk, alright? I'll do anything you want."

"Bashyball," Scablout offered immediately. Of course that was going to be the arrangement. Hiccup groaned. There was a movement in the tree in the corner of the yard and with a loud crack and a yell, a big Viking with curly hair fell from the tree to the ground with a loud thud. There was a moment of silence before he began to laugh uproariously at himself.

"Man, that was awesome!" he laughed, pushing himself up off the ground. He spotted Hiccup. "Hey, Pirate!" he greeted. The greeting wasn't a jab at Hiccup's lack of leg. He called everybody that.

Hiccup's eyes widened at the sight of the Viking. "Oh. Melker. You're here." Melker was Maija's current boyfriend. "So that means…" Right on cue, Maija came jogging up the hill and threw a bashyball right at Scablout, hitting him square in the chest.

"You're getting it yourself next time," she informed him. She flipped her hair and noticed Hiccup standing by the house. "Hey, Hiccup," she said, disinterested.

All the people he really didn't like were now here. There were _so _many ways this dinner could go wrong. The door creaked open and Hiccup looked over his shoulder to see Astrid poking her head out. She smiled when she saw them and walked over to stand next to him. She had left her cloak inside, so she stood rather close.

"Everybody, you know Astrid," Hiccup pointed out. "And I think the same goes for you," he added, smiling nervously at Astrid. Astrid was completely at ease and smiled warmly at the group.

"Hey everybody!" she said, waving. Snotlout was the only one who responded. Scablout and Melker were looking on in shock and Thora's new maternal instinct made her look proudly at the pair with tears beginning to well up in her eyes. Maija was looking on with complete disbelief. Hiccup felt awkward.

"This is where you say 'Hi, Astrid,'" he reminded them.

Melker blinked stupidly. "Why is she here?"

"She came with me," Hiccup explained slowly. Maija's jaw dropped.

"Did you set her house on fire or something?" Scablout asked.

"Odin!" Hiccup groaned slapping a hand to his forehead. _"No_, I didn't, but thanks for asking."

"Are you a prostitute?" Scablout asked this like he was asking her if she thought it looked like rain. Astrid glowered.

_"What?"_ she growled, taking a step forward. Hiccup grabbed her around the waist.

"Astrid, Aunt Agda tends to get protective of her kids, so I wouldn't try to kill Scablout. At least not now." Astrid relaxed a little bit in Hiccup's arms.

"Aw, shit, did Fireworm eat your cat?" Fireworm snorted indignantly at the accusation.

"No. Hiccup and I were having dinner the other night and he said that he was having dinner with his family. I hope you guys don't mind. I just invited myself along." She settled more into Hiccup's embrace. He was the one with the cloak, after all.

"We don't mind _at all!_" Melker assured her.

_"Melker!"_ Maija hissed. She punched him in the gut for good measure. Agda poked her head out the back door.

"Okay, kids! Dinner's ready! Hiccup, let me take your things so you aren't burning up. How's your leg doing? Do you want me to put some fresh bandages on it? Does it still hurt? How's Toothless…" Agda was off an another worried mother rant. At the dinner table, Hiccup sat on one side with Astrid, Thora, Stoick and Gobber. Aunt Agda was at the head of the table next to him. On the other side of the table were Snotlout, Scablout, and Melker. Maija was in the other room for the moment. At the other head of the table was Spitelout.

"Scablout, how's that cradle coming along?" Agda asked. Scablout shrugged.

"I have plenty of time to do it," he said nonchalantly.

"You say that now, but then the baby's going to arrive a few weeks early on you. The same thing happened with you and your brother," Spitelout scolded.

Snotlout frowned. "You didn't make me a cradle?"

Agda shook her head. "No, honey, we didn't make your brother a cradle," she clarified. "He went for a month without one. It got destroyed in a dragon attack so you got a new one months before you were born."

"I told you Mom liked me better!" Snotlout taunted to his older brother. There was a loud cough from the entrance of the room. Maija was standing there with her skirt hiked up, her tunic pulled down to reveal more of her chest, and hair tousled. She sauntered over to her chair next to Melker, making a show of the simple task. She glared at Astrid as she stabbed at her mutton.

Hiccup swallowed nervously and leaned in toward Astrid. "If you want to make some sort of escape plan, I'll understand completely."

Astrid laughed and shook her head. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere." She rested her hand on his thigh.

Hiccup smiled warmly back at her, lost in the moment.

"Okay, fuck it: what the Hel are you doing with Hiccup?" Scablout demanded. Hiccup's jaw dropped. Thora was indignant as well.

"Scabs!" she scolded.

"We're _all _thinking it!"

"Why would you just blurt something out like that?" Hiccup demanded.

"Whoa, whoa," Spitelout called, holding up a hand to stop the argument. He pointed at his older son. "Fair question."

Hiccup's jaw dropped even further. _"That's a fair question?"_

"I am _so_ sorry," Agda apologized, shaking her head.

Astrid put a hand on Hiccup's arm to calm him. "It's fine," she assured him. She turned to the family. "Well I-" she stopped, brow furrowing in concentration. "I don't-no, he makes me laugh...and he's really sweet, he doesn't try to impress me and I can just be…_me _around him." Hiccup smiled at her.

"She's a keeper," Agda commented. If Hiccup had been watching he would've noticed the comment was directed more toward Stoick, who nodded knowingly.

Scablout guffawed. "Hiccup makes you _laugh?_" he said disbelievingly. "Are you a comedian now, Hiccup?"

Melker joined in on the laughter. Maija sat up a little straighter in her chair.

"I totally understand what you're talking about, Astrid," she responded. She flipped her hair again. "It's the curse of being an attractive woman. I mean, men are always putting us on a pedestal expecting us to be something that we're _not._"

Scablout and Snotlout gave Maija an incredulous look. _"Us?"_ Snotlout snorted.

Gobber laughed. "Get your 'ead out o' the clouds, lass." Maija was livid. Hiccup stared at his plate and concentrated on Astrid's hand, which had returned to his thigh. Agda coughed.

"Okay, so," she began, changing the subject, "Astrid, we are taking a family fishing trip out to Ombo Island when spring comes and I think you two should come."

There was a general agreement among those at the table. Hiccup was shaking his head. Horrible images popped up in his mind of what would happen on that fishing trip if Astrid came along.

"I don't think that's a very good idea!" Maija remarked. She was drowned out by Melker's declaration of "Oh! Yes! Definitely! You should come!"

"We don't have enough room!"

"No. No," Hiccup repeated.

"Ombo's _small_," Maija pointed out.

"Ombo's huge!"

"Shut up, Melker."

Astrid was looking at Hiccup. "Do you want to go?" she asked. Hiccup shrugged.

"It's your decision," he said. Astrid smiled.

"I'll see what I can do, but I can probably make it."

Everyone cheered except for Snotlout and Maija. Snotlout was staying silent, secretly doubtful that the relationship would last until the spring.

* * *

******And the game of bashyball will happen next chapter! I have no idea what bashyball is even like. Maybe, since the author of the series is British, it's a bit like cricket! I, however, am not British so I'm going to model it off of baseball. Why not model it off of hockey like in the film? Because hockey was invented by British soldiers in Canada, that's why. Scablout's name popped into my head and I was like "That works" so I used it. And next chapter will most likely have this story bumped up to "M" so be prepared! Also, I looked up some random island near Norway, I may have changed the spelling, too.**

**Hiccup's reaction to french kissing is similar to what my reaction was. _What is-? Oh, that's his tongue. This is new._ I was fourteen, that's my excuse. **


	6. Too Much Excitement

**Yeah, yeah, this one took forever. Besides having writer's block, this chapter was a hard one for two reasons. One: I'm not a big sports fan. The game below is based on my rough knowledge of baseball and it took FOREVER to write. Two: I'm not a boy and I'm sure a boy would've been able to write one particular scene better than I did. However, I did watch the scene it's based on in _She's Out of My League _quite a few times so I could try to get it right.**

**This is now an M-rated story. Hooray! Personally, I don't think we don't have enough M-rated Hicstrid fics on this site. So I'm glad to contribute. Enjoy the chapter.**

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* * *

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Maija and Melker, thankfully, left right after dinner. Scablout wasted no time reminding Hiccup of their arrangement. Agda, thankfully, objected.

"Hiccup's not used to that leg," she reminded her son. "He shouldn't be playing a sport as violent as Bashyball right now." Hiccup sighed in relief.

"Thanks, Aunt Agda!" he breathed.

"Play that little game you made up when you were kids. What was it called again?"

Hiccup groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Please, no," he mumbled.

"Clubball or Stickball, wasn't it?"

"Clubball," Scablout confirmed. An evil grin appeared on his face. Hiccup had to wonder which game was worse. Clubball at least had a set of rules that they abided by, but that didn't make Hiccup any better at the game.

Hiccup shook his head. "No, it's fine, we don't _have _to play a game. Right?"

"Go play with your cousins, Hiccup!" Agda ordered.

Astrid was of no help. She just helped clear the dishes.

"Crap!" Hiccup muttered. Clubball was more or less an early form of baseball. They were split up into two teams for this particular game. Hiccup, Stoick, and Snotlout were on one team and Scablout, Spitelout, and Gobber were on the other. Thora was sitting down, leaning against Fireworm's side.

Hiccup went up to bat first. Snotlout acted as catcher while Stoick awaited his turn to bat. "Bat" was really an inaccurate term for Clubball and the club itself was actually an oddly-shaped branch from a tree they had found years ago and whittled to function more like a club. But since the actual terms have been lost and forgotten over time, we'll substitute for now.

Spitelout and Gobber waited on opposite sides of the yard, prepared to catch the ball (a leather ball that felt like a stone and left horrible bruising if you were unfortunate enough to be hit with it. Hiccup took his place to the side of a wooden plank that marked home base and raised the club, ready to swing. Scablout was the pitcher.

With an evil grin Scablout wound up and threw the ball straight at Hiccup. Usually, Hiccup's instinct was to duck or close his eyes because every time he attempted to hit the ball, he missed. This time, Hiccup kept his eye on the ball and swung. Wood met leather with a loud crack and Hiccup watched in disbelief as the ball flew beyond the boundaries of the yard and into a nearby field. Everyone stood in shock for a moment before Hiccup gathered his senses and began to run around the bases.

"RUN! RUN HICCUP!" Snotlout screamed. Hiccup made it to first base-a boulder-and Gobber and Spitelout were still running out to get the ball. "GO! GO! GO!"

Hiccup was already past second base-the tree-and headed towards third base-a wooden post.

"HURRY! GET THE DAMN BALL!" Scablout bellowed to his father and Gobber.

_"COME ON, SON! YOU CAN MAKE IT!" _ Stoick hollered. And then Hiccup ran over the home plate just as Gobber threw the ball back to Scablout. Stoick whooped and hollered, Snotlout clapped, and Hiccup did a short victory dance.

Scablout scoffed. "What? Do you think you're some big shot now that you have your new chick?" he demanded.

"What? No!" Hiccup protested. He crouched down behind his Dad with the catcher's glove on his hand. "Maybe I'm just lucky tonight?"

"You're not better than me!" Scablout insisted. Thora scolded him for his behavior from where she sat but he either ignored her or didn't hear. "I _am _the champion of this game. Just because you saved the village and have a hot girlfriend now doesn't change that."

Hiccup sighed and stood back up. "I don't think I'm better than you! I never said that!" He shrugged. "And sure, maybe Astrid is a little better looking than me, but-"

"A _little?"_ Scablout cried, sounding indignant. He pointed to Thora. "I think we can all agree here that Thora is wicked hot."

"Thanks, Scabs!" Thora cooed. She should've saved her thanks.

"And this girl of yours makes her look like a Gronckle!"

Thora charged at him in an instant and punched him in the jaw. "You're an _asshole, _Scablout!" she screeched before she returned to her seat.

Scablout pushed himself off the ground, rubbing his jaw. "See? Your girlfriend is already starting shit!"

Hiccup rolled his eyes and returned to his position of catcher. He didn't even bother to point out to Scablout that he and Astrid had yet to define their relationship. Stoick and Snotlout managed two more home runs before the teams switched sides. Hiccup took up Scablout's place of pitcher. That was when Astrid and Agda came out to watch the game. Astrid smiled and waved at Hiccup as she sat down next to Thora.

To the amazement and cheers of his team, Hiccup managed to strike out Scablout (who through a small Viking fit, involving quite a few swear words.) The encouraging smile from Astrid did absolutely nothing to prevent Hiccup from gulping at the sight of Gobber coming up to bat. His mentor had always treated him better than most other Vikings in the village, but that didn't mean he wasn't tough on the boy when necessary. Especially when it came to games. So when Hiccup saw that smirk, he was almost shaking with nerves. The result was that his aim was a little off. To be precise, his aim was a little low and Hiccup managed to hit Scablout in the worst place you could hit a man.

There was a collection of groans and winces of pains. Scablout emitted a very un-Viking like squeak and dropped to his knees, hands between his legs. Thora was practically hyperventilating as she grasped her stomach.

_"I wanna have another baby!" _she screamed hysterically. Agda patted her shoulder. _"I want-!"_

"Sh, honey, it's okay," Agda soothed. Snotlout took a cautious step forward.

"Uh, bro? Are you alright?" he asked.

Scablout raised a shaky finger at Hiccup. "As soon as I can walk again," he wheezed, "I'm gonna snap your spine in half." Hiccup paled visibly.

Agda went over and smacked Scablout on the back of the head. "Come on, now. Show a little sportsmanship."

"Fuck sportsmanship!" That remark earned Scablout another smack on the head and a time-out. Agda took over his position as catcher. It wasn't until a few rounds later that Scablout was finally able to get up and join the game again. Hiccup was pitching and Scablout was up to bat.

"You can do it, baby!" Thora cheered. "You're still my warrior! And Hiccup's just a skinny little _loser!"_

"Thora!" Hiccup said, indignant. Thora was usually such a nice person. Pregnancy was already revealing her nasty side.

"He's got less than nothing, Hiccup," Astrid said, glaring at Thora. Thora glared back. Scablout took up his position.

Hiccup was feeling confident. For once, having everyone's eyes on him wasn't bothering him. Astrid met Hiccup's eyes and smiled encouragingly.

Hiccup narrowed his eyes at his cousin (did Scablout just cringe?) reeled back his arm and threw the ball forward. Scablout missed by a long shot, swinging before the ball even got close. Scablout lost it. He tossed the bat, nearly hitting his brother.

"Fuck it!" Scablout spat.

"Scabs!" Agda said reprimandingly.

"The ground is all slippery from the frost!" Scablout continued-there was no frost on the ground-and he ripped off one of his boots. "And these boots are _fucked _for this! I quit! I'm not playing with you assholes anymore!"

He stormed off from the yard and down the hill. Thora was up in an instant. "SCABLOUT! IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE, YOU'RE GOING TO BE JUST AS MISERABLE AS ME UNTIL THE BABY COMES!"

* * *

Astrid was still frowning when she opened the door to her home. "I wanted to play a round against Scablout," she complained. The fire was lit in an instant, revealing the colorful Nadder sitting in the main room. Hiccup waved at the dragon, which immediately hissed at him.

"Captain Pickles! It's just Hiccup! You _know_ Hiccup!" The dragon snorted and laid its head back down. Hiccup gave Astrid a questioning look as they passed the dragon.

"You named your Nadder _Captain _Pickles?" Astrid gave him a look. "I'm not saying it's a bad name! It's a little odd, a little different, but I like it."

Astrid muttered something about "named his dragon 'Toothless'" before she went to the kitchen. "Do you want anything to drink?" she called.

"Sure. Do you want…help or should I just…?" Astrid pointed to the back room, separated from the main room by a partial wall. Hiccup could see a bench littered with cushions and nearly swallowed by a quilt.

"Sit down," Astrid ordered.

Hiccup went and sat like he was told, removing his cloak and setting it down beside him. He took in all the weaponry and shields that filled in every space on the wall. They almost rivaled the shop in number. Suddenly a lot about Astrid was explained. It occurred to Hiccup that this was the first time he had been in her house. Actually, with the exception of Snotlout, he had never been invited into the home of any of the kids his age. He had only been as far as the doorstep while he was making deliveries for Gobber.

She entered the room, smiling and offering Hiccup his drink. He took a sip: mead. Of course, since they were both teenagers and hormones were raging, the drinks were left to sit while the two began to move their lips together. Hiccup was very aware that Astrid's skirt wasn't an armored one. And she was pressed closer to him than she had ever been before.

And they were all alone.

Astrid pulled back and tucked her head under Hiccup's chin, sighing contentedly. Hiccup kept one arm around her shoulders and another at her waist, tracing a finger up and down her spine. He sincerely hoped, as Astrid began playing with the fur of his vest, that she wouldn't look _down _any time soon. He hadn't…gone down yet after they halted their activity and if she saw it now…well, Hiccup wasn't sure how she'd react. They weren't to that stage yet, but he was a teenage boy. It was expected for his body to…react.

"I had fun tonight," Astrid said quietly. She quickly gave Hiccup a peck on the cheek. "Your aunt asked me something," she added casually.

Hiccup smiled. "Really? Just one thing? Agda's usually much more talkative. Ow! Why are you so abusive to me?"

"You always ask for it!" Astrid retorted as Hiccup rubbed his arm.

"Yeah," he said with an eye roll. "I always ask you, 'Astrid, make sure you bruise me today,' just so-_ow!"_ Astrid had hit him again. "Yeah, I walked into that one." Astrid laughed.

"She asked me if I was your girlfriend," Astrid muttered. She wasn't looking at Hiccup. She wasn't talking anymore. She was keeping her head down, still toying with Hiccup's vest.

"What'd you tell her?" he pressed.

"I never gave her an answer. She started talking about cute things you would do as a kid before I could say anything."

Hiccup blushed. "Don't listen to a thing she says!" he muttered. Astrid ignored that.

"What should I have said to your aunt?" Now this was a delicate situation. Hiccup wanted to introduce Astrid as his girlfriend to the village. But if Astrid didn't want that yet, he'd be risking more than just a bruise on his arm if he said the wrong thing.

"Well, uh, I guess it all depends on-on what _you_, you know, wanted. If…if you had, um, _wanted _to tell her yes, then I'd have absolutely _no _problem with that…at all. That would probably make my list of…greatest things to happen to me. But if you wanted to tell her _no_…well that would suck, but I, uh…I'll go along with whatever you-" Hiccup was cut off abruptly by Astrid's lips crashing on his. This kiss was different. Behind it was an explosion of passion and eagerness that Hiccup responded to with equal intensity.

He took her response to mean yes.

The two teenagers were a tangle of limbs in an effort to be as close as possible. Astrid broke away for a second and, with a rather seductive smile swung a leg over Hiccup's lap so that she was straddling him. There was nothing more exciting or terrifying for Hiccup than having the girl of his dreams straddling him. He was pretty sure she could feel the bulge straining against his trousers where she was. But it didn't occur to Hiccup to be embarrassed, especially not when Astrid leaned down and kissed Hiccup again. She pulled Hiccup's bottom lip in between her teeth and sucked and chewed on it for a little while, which made Hiccup's pants seem even tighter.

His mind started wandering to the forbidden places of Astrid's body that before he could only dream about having his hands near. He wondered when he should risk trying to put his hands there and if Astrid would allow it.

Astrid flipped her braid over her shoulder and moved her lips to his neck. At the same time, she grinded against him. Hiccup gasped at the feeling. He could feel Astrid smiling as she continued to kiss up and down his neck, still grinding against him. When she began to nibble on his ear lobe, a shockwave went down Hiccup's spine and suddenly he was worried.

"Can we-guh!" The 'guh!' was from Astrid sticking her tongue in his ear. He almost forgot what he wanted to say. "Can we stop for two seconds?" he managed to get out, sounding strained.

Astrid smiled and shook her head. "No," she said, smiling.

"Oh," was Hiccup's only response before Astrid began to kiss his lips again. Why did she have to keep grinding against him? There was only so much he could hold back before the dam broke. She kissed his forehead before returning to his neck and ears.

Hiccup breathed rapidly through his teeth, trying to prevent an embarrassing situation. Astrid was none the wiser and just kept up her work. If Hiccup could form a sentence, he probably would've asked her to get off. The pressure kept building higher and higher, and Hiccup was feeling an odd mix of pleasure and terror.

He groaned, keeping a firm grip on Astrid's shirt while she kept grinding away, faster and faster. _Shit! _Hiccup screamed inside his head. The dam broke at the same time the front door of the Hofferson household opened up. Astrid scrambled off of Hiccup, tucking some hair behind her ears.

"Honey?" a male voice called.

"Dad?" Astrid answered, going into the next room.

"Dad?" Hiccup repeated. "What the-? Ah!" Hiccup was dead. He had decided to wear a lighter color pair of pants that day. He wouldn't have done it if he had known what Astrid would do to him. Well, he had paid the price and there was a lovely dark, wet, sticky stain to prove it. In vain he dabbed at it and shook the material of his clothing to try and get rid of it or dry it. Nothing worked and it sounded like they would be coming in this room!

"Hiccup stopped by, Mom!" Astrid said innocently, as if she _didn't _just make poor Hiccup come early. Well, she probably didn't know, but still. Hiccup crossed his legs and threw his cloak over his lap. He'd make an excuse. He'd leave. And as soon as he was out the door, he'd run. He grabbed his cup of mead and took a sip just as Astrid came into the room with her parents.

Astrid's father regarded him with the same fierce blue eyes Astrid had; except these eyes made Hiccup never want to risk touching Astrid again. Gunnar Hofferson smiled and held out his large, rough hand to Hiccup.

"It's a pleasure to see you, Hiccup," he said earnestly. Hiccup hesitated for a moment and risked getting up, keeping his cloak in front of him the whole time, and shook the hand. Astrid's smile faded and she gave him a look. What had he done wrong? The smile on her father's face fell just a little.

"It's nice to see you, too, sir. You too, Mrs. Hofferson." Astrid's mother nodded. "Well, I should, uh, really be headed out."

"Nonsense!" Gerda Hofferson cried. "We've been meaning to talk to you for a while, anyway and I like having a nice chat at the end of the day."

Hiccup had no choice to agree. "Of course! That sounds great! Sit down, put your feet up! Eheh!" Gerda blinked at Hiccup and sat down in a nearby chair. Hiccup sat nervously, hunched over, keeping his legs together and his cloak over his pants. Gunnar sat next to him.

Hiccup laughed nervously. "I think I have that same tunic."

"Really?" Gunnar said, staring Hiccup down. _Oh, GODS! He KNOWS! _Hiccup screamed in his head.

"So how's your leg doing, Hiccup?" Gerda asked.

Hiccup looked down at the prosthetic. "It's doing fine. It could be better but every day is-is progress. Yep." Captain Pickles poked his head into the room, sniffing.

Hiccup looked around Gunnar to see what kind of mood Astrid was in. She was smiling. That was good.

"So, uh," Hiccup cleared his throat, "what-what are…Oh!" Hiccup stopped as Captain Pickles nudged Hiccup's cloak off a little bit and started licking at the stain. This night could not get any worse. "Oh, Gods! Oh, no, Captain Pickes, no!" Hiccup begged weakly. "Bad dragon!" Astrid was looking at Hiccup with an unreadable expression, wondering what the Hel was happening with her boyfriend.

Hiccup managed to push the dragon away and stood up rapidly with his cloak in hand. "You know, I'd love to stay, but there's something I have to…finish up in the shop…"

"Hiccup?" Astrid said, concerned but with a hint of warning in her tone, like it was _his _behavior that was unacceptable.

"Thank you for having me; this has been a lovely evening!" Astrid fixed Hiccup with a hard stare. Captain Pickles started making his way toward the boy again. "Good night!"

Hiccup ran from the house, wondering why he got all the rotten luck. Around him, the first few snowflakes of winter began to fall.

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**Hiccup and Astrid are officially a couple! What a way to start the relationship off with a bang, eh, Hiccup?**


	7. Apologies, Tuff's Perfect Ten

**Didn't you feel so bad for Hiccup last chapter? Me, too. Actually, when I saw that in the movie, I didn't know what had happened until the dog started licking. I thought that maybe Kirk was just REALLY happy. Well, let's see if Hiccup manages to fix things. Enjoy the chapter and be sure to read my author's note at the bottom when you're done.**

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Hiccup didn't tell anybody about the embarrassing incident at Astrid's house. Except for Toothless, but Toothless wouldn't tell anybody. He told his Dad, too, but that had been because he had heard from Astrid's father about him running out for his work at the shop. Stoick hadn't believed the lie his son had told so Hiccup, bright red the whole time, had to tell his Dad the truth. Stoick had to hold back his laughter, but he told nobody out of sympathy for the lad.

Hiccup had even divulged his secret to Fishlegs, also sworn to secrecy. The only reason he had told _him _was because Hiccup was in the middle of writing his third apology letter to Astrid.

Five days later and no reply from Astrid, Hiccup found himself making his way through the snow with Toothless. Gobber had forbidden him to walk through the snow in his metal prosthetic since it would freeze up anyway without the snow's help. Hiccup and Toothless were going to help Fishlegs, Tuffnut, and Snotlout haul firewood back to their homes. They were waiting at the edge of the woods for Hiccup and their conversation floated over to him as he approached.

"Fishlegs, I'll _pay _you just to curse _once_," Tuffnut offered. "Just say _fuck_."

"I'll write it down," Fishlegs offered.

"That doesn't count!" Tuffnut laughed.

"You'll what?" Snotlout asked, also laughing. Fishlegs repeated his offer.

"That doesn't count!" Tuffnut repeated, doubling over. "Just say it out loud! Just say _shit _and I'll chop wood for you for a week."

Snotlout was the first one to notice Hiccup approaching on Toothless' back. "Hey, Hiccup!" he called. Tuffnut turned around shouldering his axe. He kept a straight face on.

"Hey. Hiccup," he began casually, "Um…I actually wasn't supposed to come out and help for another half hour but I was so excited…so, uh, I came early." Hiccup didn't find anything strange about the comment.

Snotlout shrugged. "Yeah, it was really weird he said he was really excited…and he came early." Why were they still on this subject?

"Does that ever happen to you?" Tuffnut asked curiously. Hiccup understood what was going on before Tuffnut continued. "You're so excited about something…" Fishlegs was looking guilty "that you come early."

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Gods, Fishlegs, have you ever kept a secret before in your life?" The other boys laughed, even Fishlegs.

"I didn't-I didn't mean to tell them, Hiccup, I'm sorry," he gasped.

Snotlout nodded in agreement. "Dude, come on, he didn't mean it. It just…slipped out." A new wave of laughter came over everyone but Hiccup.

"Thank you. Thank you very much and…go fuck yourselves," Hiccup told his friends. Toothless just rolled his eyes in annoyance at the teenagers. His ears perked up at the sound of snow crunching, but the boys didn't notice until she was right there that Maija had joined their group.

"Hey guys," she greeted.

"Oh, shit!" Tuffnut swore. Maija glared at him. "Reflex," he explained.

Maija flipped her hair. "Hiccup, can I talk to you?" Well, this was new. Hiccup nodded. Maija hesitated. "In _private?_"

"No secrets, here, Maija," Hiccup said. Toothless, sensing this would take a while, sat down.

"Okay," Maija agreed, stepping closer. "Well…I…think I made a little mistake…and I see a change in you and I really like it so, let's get together! Just to try it out, you know." Hiccup couldn't believe what he was hearing. Yes, he had been pathetic enough to ask Maija out a few times at one point in his life, but so had his friends. Their logic was simple: Maija was easy and she'd go out with anyone. She had turned them all down. Hiccup suspected there was another reason for her being here, not a change of heart. He looked to his friends. Tuffnut was shaking his head.

Hiccup turned back to Maija, who was waiting for his answer. "Uh, that's really interesting, Maija." Hiccup shook his head. "No, I don't think so." This was probably the first time Maija had been turned down. She was indignant.

"But you broke up with Astrid!" she protested. _Where did she get that idea?_ Hiccup instinctively looked back at Fishlegs, who was looking guilty again.

"She _cornered _me," he confessed in a small voice.

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Look, Maija, I moved on. And you're only here because another girl has shown interest in me.

"That's not it!" Maija insisted, not sounding convincing. "Look, Hiccup, I'm really worried about you with her!" She leaned in closer. "She seems like kind of a _bitch!_" Hiccup's jaw dropped in disbelief at what she saying. And she was _still _talking.

"I'm just saying," she continued, "that if you want to get together like you _begged _me before…I am even willing to consider…breaking up…with Melker."

Tuffnut snorted. "The _pirate?_"

"You're still _with him?"_ Snotlout shook his head in disbelief.

Maija was looking at them like they were morons. "Yeah! I'm not going to risk being all alone because Hiccup doesn't know what's good for him! We can get together; just don't ever show me your stump until I master my gag reflex."

"My _what?_" Hiccup questioned.

"Your _stump. _That _thing _that used to be a leg. I don't want to look at something that gross until I know I won't barf looking at it."

"It looks just fine!" Hiccup snapped. Toothless could sense his rider was getting annoyed and turned his head to growl at Maija. She sensibly backed up a few paces.

"Look, Hiccup, deep down…you know it is _never _going to work out with you and Astrid and I just can't stand to see you get hurt. So if that makes me the bad guy," she stopped to glare at Tuffnut, who was making a gagging motion, "so be it!" Maija stormed off back to the village.

"Odin's beard!" Hiccup groaned, shaking his head.

"Hey," Tuffnut said, placing a hand on Hiccup's shoulder, "did you just come in your pants again?" Snotlout and Fishlegs burst out laughing. "We're your friends. You can tell us. Did you?"

Hiccup ignored him and him and Toothless started forward into the woods. "Fishlegs, _why _would you tell her that I broke up with Astrid?"

"I thought you did!" Fishlegs said innocently.

_"No,"_ Hiccup corrected. "We're just in a rough patch! Here, this tree looks good," he said, pointing to a young tree. Not too big, not too small.

"How many messages have you sent to her?" Tuffnut asked, taking a swing at the tree trunk.

Hiccup paused, thinking about it. "Five," he said. Tuffnut didn't believe it.

"And how many messages have you _really _sent to her?"

Hiccup looked down. "Seventeen. I sent that one out ten minutes ago."

Tuffnut sighed. "It's done man." _Thwack. _"Towel of Love." All the boys looked at him questioningly. "That's what," _thwack _"I call it. The Towel of Love. You being," _thwack_ "with Astrid defies like…forces of nature." _Thwack! _Tuffnut took a moment to rest. "Face it: it's over, man."

Hiccup shook his head and dismounted Toothless, ignoring Gobber's rule. _"No_, it's not over! And frankly…I'm a little sick of you guys pretending like you know where I'm coming from! None of you know what I'm going through right now."

Tuffnut sighed, looking dejected and sat down on a nearby stump. "Svana Halvorsdóttir does."

"Who's Svana?" Hiccup asked, confused. Fishlegs and Snotlout looked just as lost as he was.

"She was my Astrid," Tuffnut explained.

"How come you never told us about her?" Snotlout asked.

"I didn't want to jinx it. She was perfect. Perfect," he added with a dreamy look on his face. "Freckled shoulders." He shook his head, snapping back to the present. "Anyway, two months into it, _bam_, she dumps me. I should've seen it coming. She was a _ten _a _hard ten _and I was a six, possibly a seven. Either way, I couldn't cover the spread. I was depressed for months."

"That's what that was?" Hiccup asked. "I thought you were just ill."

"Yeah," Tuffnut agreed, "I had an illness of the heart."

"By Freya, how's your vagina?" Snotlout asked.

"Shut up, Snot!" Tuffnut snapped. He went back to chopping down the tree. Snotlout made his way over to his cousin.

"Forget Tuff," he ordered. "I think you can get Astrid back." Tuffnut snorted.

"Then why don't you look Hiccup in the eyes and tell him you _really believe _he's going to end up with Astrid."

"Fine, I will. Hiccup, I _truly _believe that…" Snotlout paused, not able to go on. Hiccup nodded, encouraging him. "I think anything's possible."

"_Anything is possible?" _Hiccup repeated. Nobody believed in his and Astrid's relationship.

"Hey, Hiccup, look!" Fishlegs cried, pointing up. A Terrible Terror dived toward them, landing on Hiccup's shoulder. It held out a scroll tied to its leg for him. Hiccup hurriedly untied and unrolled the note. It wasn't from Astrid.

_She hasn't read any of your messages. I've been putting them into the fire for her. If you send another message to Astrid, I'll break both your arms._

_Ruffnut_

Getting Astrid back would be harder than Hiccup initially thought.

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Hiccup had been avoiding the Great Hall ever since he had fled from Astrid's house the other night. Now he poked his head through the door and immediately spotted her sitting at a table with Ruffnut. He ducked outside again.

"She's in there," he confirmed to his friends. Hiccup stood there, too nervous to go in. Snotlout decided he'd be the one to give his cousin a pep talk.

"Listen to me, Hiccup," Snotlout said. "You just have to go in there, loud and proud, and say 'Hey…I jizzed in my shorts!'" Hiccup shook his head and took a step away from the Hall. "'It's what I do. It's how I roll. Deal with it.'"

Fishlegs cleared his throat. "I know I don't know a lot about girls, but that _can't _be good advice."

Hiccup agreed with Fishlegs. "Yeah, I'm not gonna do _that_."

Snotlout snorted. "Dude, you have nothing to be embarrassed of! If anything, you paid her a compliment. Right?" In a way, Snotlout's logic made sense. But there was no way Hiccup was about to go up to Astrid and tell her what had really happened.

"We'll be right there with you, Hiccup," Tuffnut encouraged, leading Hiccup to the doors. "But we respect your privacy and we'll keep our distance."

"You're just afraid of Astrid!"

"That, too."

They all stumbled into the Hall. Hiccup gulped. "Alright. Here goes nothing." He went over to the table Astrid and Ruffnut were sitting at. His friends went in the opposite direction. Ruffnut spotted Hiccup first.

"_Shit! _Astrid, six o' clock," Ruffnut warned, jerking her head in that direction. Astrid turned around in her seat to see Hiccup approach. She turned back around, refusing to look at him.

"Hey, Astrid," he said nervously. Astrid traced her index finger around her goblet. "I got Ruffnut's message, which I assume you asked her to write." Ruffnut glared at him. Hiccup stared at his boots. Astrid snapped and whirled around to face Hiccup, getting off the bench so they were eye to eye.

"What the _Hel _happened the other night, Hiccup?" Astrid demanded. Hiccup barely got in an "Um" before Astrid started again. "You acted like a freak with Captain Pickles and when you shook my father's hand you acted like it was _diseased _when we had a whole conversation about how he was old-fashioned!"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry," Hiccup insisted. He was feeling much worse than when he had first entered the Hall.

"I spent an _entire day _with _your _family and you can't even spend thirty seconds with _mine!_ That's a pretty big red flag!" Astrid turned her back on him and sat back down on the bench.

"It is _not _a red flag, Astrid!" Hiccup insisted. Astrid turned her head over her shoulder to glare at him.

"I'm _not _doing this now!" she hissed.

Hiccup's shoulders slumped. "Right. Sorry," he mumbled. He turned and took a few steps away from the table. Snotlout's advice echoed in his head. Hiccup stopped, took a deep breath, straightened his posture and walked back over to the girls. He swallowed his pride and tapped Astrid on the shoulder.

Astrid whirled around in her seat, finger raised, mouth open, intending to tell him off.

"I ejaculated in my pants," Hiccup confessed quickly. Astrid's angry expression melted into one of shock and she slowly dropped her hand. Ruffnut's jaw dropped. Hiccup took advantage of their silence and continued.

"We were getting kind…hot and…and nasty...and it's not every day that I have some…wicked hot girl _grinding _on top of me…and uh…I-I got a little too excited and before I know it…your _parents _are in the room and I'm sitting there with just this big…freakin'…_oyster_ in my shorts." It wasn't working. Ruffnut was shaking with silent laughter, a hand clapped firmly over her mouth. Astrid wasn't doing much better.

"Sorry," Hiccup apologized. "Sorry." He hobbled over to his friends, feeling like everyone had their eyes on him. All he wanted to do now was to curl up in bed and never come out. It was a much better option than looking Astrid in the eye again.

"Thanks for the advice," Hiccup said sarcastically, "that went _horribly_. Enjoy dinner, guys. I'm just going to…" Hiccup made the motion of stabbing himself in the gut before walking out the doors and in to the snow where Toothless was waiting.

At Astrid's table, the two finally recovered from their fit of laughter enough to talk.

"I mean, I'll say this for him: he's honest!" Ruffnut said.

"What do you mean?" Astrid asked curiously.

Ruffnut rolled her eyes. _"No guy, _in his right mind would _ever _lie about that!" She looked around and saw a rather depressed-looking Hiccup leave the Hall. "You should probably go talk to him." Astrid nodded in agreement and ran for the doors. Snotlout was feeling smug at his table.

"Told you!" he bragged.

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Hiccup sighed and scratched Toothless behind the ears. "Well buddy, I _had _a girlfriend, but of course I managed to screw that up." He sighed again. "Let's just go home," he muttered miserably. Hiccup made to swing on to Toothless' saddle.

"Hiccup!" a voice called from behind him. Astrid was jogging her way to them. Hiccup braced himself for a punch, so he was very surprised when Astrid hugged him instead. He hugged her back, liking the feeling.

"If you had said something I would've stopped," Astrid mentioned casually. Hiccup felt his face grow hot, even in the cold.

"I couldn't exactly form a sentence at the time," Hiccup pointed out. Astrid laughed and Hiccup found he was able to laugh, too. To make him feel better Astrid kissed him right on the mouth. They were both smiling when they broke apart.

"Come on," Astrid said, taking Hiccup's hand. "Let's go eat. You too, Toothless!" They walked back into the Hall, hand in hand, and the truth of what happened at Astrid's was never spoken between them again.

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**I like Svana's name...even if I have a hard time pronouncing her full name. By the way, I _looked up what Viking undergarments were like for you guys! Just to see if I could refer to the underwear as "shorts." _Viking underwear was much like modern day boxer shorts, minus the fly. If that information is actually wrong...I don't care.**

**Most of you who have seen the _She's Out of My League _movie know that next there's a montage of dates for the characters of Kirk and Molly. I want to do the same for Astrid and Hiccup but I'm drawing a blank. What do _you _want to see the couple do? Sneak around in the shop again? Practice fighting? Lounge about each other's houses? Go bobsledding? Throw out some ideas and I'll write them out.**


	8. Zig Zag Sword

**Hello, all! Here's the latest chapter. But before we begin, I have anonymous reviews I need to address, yet again.**

Anonymous- **Thank you for saying "please" when you asked me to change the name of Astrid's Nadder, first of all. Unfortunately, I can't change it, because this movie is based off of _She's Out of My League _and in the movie, there was a dog named "Captain Pickles" and it made sense to use that.**

**And now on with the tragically short chapter...**

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On winter days, Gobber liked to rest up in the comfort of his own home every once in a while; which means his apprentice got saddled with finishing up projects in the shop. It was a slow day for business. Hiccup was in the back room sketching out a possible fix for his fake leg and his supposed growth spurt. He frowned down at the metal attachment. Maija had called what was left of his leg a "stump." Did other people think of it like that? Did Astrid? Should he just call it a stump, too? After all, what was a leg without a foot and toes?

He heard a voice call out from inside the shop. He sighed and hobbled to the door. "Gobber's not here today so you're either gonna have to deal with me or…" He stopped when he saw Astrid there. "Hi."

Astrid was holding her hands up to a new fire that the Terrors had evidently started up for her. "I thought it'd be _warmer _in here!"

"Well I haven't been doing much of anything in the shop today," Hiccup explained. "You can come back here until it's warmer in the shop." Astrid didn't argue and ducked into the back room. Yes, with Toothless' body heat, it was a lot warmer. Astrid took off Hiccup's her cloak, throwing it in the corner

"What're you doing out in the snow?" Hiccup asked, going back to his sketch.

"I was bored," Astrid shrugged. "It was either this or knit. Which reminds me: do you want me to knit you anything? Socks?"

Hiccup laughed. "Agda beat you to the punch. She's been making me socks ever since I woke up, even made a special one for…" he gestured to his left leg, the stump, that thing.

Astrid walked over to see what Hiccup was sketching. "What's this?" Hiccup slid the paper out of view, stacking other sketches on top.

"Just some adjustments for…" Hiccup gestured again. Astrid's expression was one of sympathy.

"Does your leg still hurt?" she asked, reaching out to touch it. _That thing that used to be a leg._ Hiccup automatically jerked it away.

"Sometimes, yeah," he muttered. Astrid dropped her hand as Hiccup shuffled the papers off to the side, out of view.

"Well besides that, are any of those sketches another invention of yours?" Astrid asked curiously. Hiccup snorted.

"No, I've learned my lesson. I don't invent anything anymore."

"But what about everything you made for Toothless?"

"Well, he hasn't known me since I was a baby so he didn't head for the hills every time I told him I had something new I wanted to test on him," Hiccup explained. "Nobody else in the village liked my inventions much and I hardly ever got past the first test on any of them because everybody went and complained to my Dad when it didn't work like it should."

"I think you're being too hard on yourself," Astrid told him. "You should try inventing again. I bet you have all sorts of ideas thanks to that wild imagination of yours."

Hiccup shrugged. "So, was there any other reason you came here besides boredom?"

"As a matter of fact, there _was_," Astrid said, leaning in. Hiccup smiled and leaned, too, but Astrid pulled back. "My dad needs his sword repaired." She laughed at Hiccup's frustrated expression.

"I'll go start up the fire," Hiccup sighed. He got up off the bench and walked to the door, muttering something about Astrid being a tease.

"Can I help?" Astrid asked. Hiccup hesitated for a minute, thinking about it. Why not?

"Sure. Where's the sword?" Astrid pointed to the corner where she had taken off the cloak. How had he not noticed that when she brought it in?

"Come on, then," Hiccup said, leading her back into the shop.

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"Now, would you mind telling me how this sword got bent like this? It's almost a zig-zag." Hiccup was turning the sword, looking at it from all angles with a completely confused look.

"Captain Pickles," Astrid explained. She wouldn't say anything more. Hiccup just rolled his eyes and put the sword down again. He handed Astrid a spare apron. "Your tunic is made of wool, right?"

Now it was Astrid's turn to roll her eyes. "Of course it is. Why?" Her fingers fumbled trying to tie a knot behind her back.

"I was just making sure. It's really hard to catch wool on fire." Astrid nodded, then scowled as the knot failed again. Hiccup went behind her and took the strings from her to tie it himself.

"I can tie a _knot_," Astrid muttered, a little embarrassed that Hiccup had to do it for her.

Hiccup smiled. "I know." He finished it up and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before she could say anything else about the apron.

"Right, now we put the sword here, and fan the flames to make the metal nice and hot." Hiccup pushed down on the bellows to demonstrate then moved aside so Astrid could try. She had some trouble with it at first, not knowing how to put her weight down on it like Hiccup did.

"How long do I have to do this?" she asked, already tired from the task.

"You can take a break for now," Hiccup said. "We'll give it a little time to heat up now. It shouldn't take too long." As promised, the sword was soon glowing red hot. Hiccup carefully took the sword out of the fire with a pair of tongs and brought it over to the anvil.

"Could you hand me that hammer? Thanks." Hiccup struck the metal a few times. Already, one of the bends in the metal was straightened out.

"Have you ever gotten burned in here?" Astrid asked. Hiccup nodded.

"And I have the scars to prove it. It all comes with the job. Here," he handed Astrid the hammer, "I'll hold the sword, and you straighten it out. Don't knock it out of my hands, now," he added as a warning.

Astrid rolled her eyes and struck the sword. "Like I'd do that."

"I wouldn't put it past you to do that by accident." A few more strikes with the hammer and the sword was very close to be straight again.

"What do you know?" Hiccup said as he took the hammer back. "You may turn out to be a better blacksmith than me."

"Except I don't have the patience for it," Astrid pointed out as Hiccup dunked the blade in the bucket of water.

"There you are!" a voice cried out. Ruffnut had poked her head into the shop. "Hey, Astrid, let's go hunting tomorrow!"

Astrid lit up at the prospect. "Awesome!"

"Sounds like fun," Hiccup remarked as he took the sword to another part of the shop to cool. "You should bring back a rabbit for Toothless if you manage to catch one. Excuse me," he said as he ducked into the other room. Almost immediately, a whispered conversation began.

"…invite Hiccup. I want him to come along…"

"Are you kidding me? With that leg, he'll be nothing but trouble!"

"It'll be _fine!_"

"You know, I can still hear you guys," Hiccup said as he entered the shop again with a jar in his hands. "It's fine. You girls can go hunting without me." Astrid glared at Ruffnut. Hiccup slowly set the jar down on a nearby table, suddenly nervous about having these two girls near so many weapons and flames.

"No, we _want _you to come hunting with us," Astrid insisted. "Right, Ruff?"

Ruffnut rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure, whatever."

Astrid nodded, satisfied, and strolled over to Hiccup. She pushed herself up on to the table and added, "and bring a friend. Snotlout, if you want." Ruffnut groaned at that suggestion.

"Crap!" With that note, Ruffnut exited the shop.

Hiccup sighed and turned to Astrid, who was looking rather proud of herself. "You don't have to take me along hunting," Hiccup reminded her. Astrid rolled her eyes.

"I want you to come along. We'll have fun. Now," she picked up the jar Hiccup had brought in "what is in here and what's it for?"

"It's some polish for the hilt when the sword's cooled down some more. Which reminds me: you do intend on paying for all the work I've done, right?"

Astrid smiled and patted the pouch on her waist, which jingled with coins. "So…do you want to do anything while we're waiting for the sword to cool?"

Hiccup was instantly flustered. "Well, um…I-I guess…maybe, we could, uh…" Astrid jumped off the table. Rolling her eyes, she grabbed Hiccup's arm and led him into the back room.

* * *

**No, need to worry, kiddies! Astrid was _much _nicer to Hiccup this time. No accidents. In fact, besides that accident, they haven't really gone past first base. **

**Wool actually is flame retardant. If caught on fire, it has a low burning rate and may self-extinguish. Found that out from a little Mythbusters fun fact during their commercial break.**

**Sorry about the short chapter, but I felt it should end there. I would've written a little more but I'm a tad bit upset because my guinea pig Larry is not feeling so well at the moment. So there may be a delay in the next chapter...**


	9. The Hunt

**This was supposed to be up yesterday but my internet totally died on me. It was such awful timing! Well, my internet is back up and I can finally upload this! Sorry about the delay. I blame school and writer's block. Let's see how Hiccup is when it comes to hunting! Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

**

Stoick the Vast was an early riser. He was, after all, the chief and there was business to attend to. His son always rose later than he did, usually right as he was about to leave. So Stoick was surprised to see Hiccup up and moving about. Well, maybe not moving about, but the lad was awake…in the loosest sense of the term. If you counted sitting on a bench at the table, struggling to keep your eyes open, and not being very aware your surroundings as "awake."

As he watched, Hiccup's head dropped down to the table with an impressive _thud._ Hiccup jerked up, rubbing the spot on his forehead. Toothless shook his head at the boy's antics. Stoick cleared his throat, making his presence known. It took Hiccup a minute to register where the noise had come from.

"Hi, Dad," he yawned.

The chief went over to the fire to warm his hands. "What are you doing up so early?"

Hiccup folded his arms on the table and rested his head. "Astrid," he said. "She told me that I had to get up early today and if I wasn't awake when she got here, there would be consequences."

"What kind of consequences?"

Hiccup shrugged. "It's Astrid. I don't like to imagine them." Stoick laughed heartily. That girl reminded him of Valhallarama.

"Why did she want you up so early?"

Hiccup turned his head to look at his dad. "Goin' hunting," he mumbled. "Me, her…the girl twin and…my cousin."

"Ruffnut and Snotlout?"

"Yeah, that's right." Hiccup buried his head in his arms again.

There was a knock at the door and immediately afterward, the door swung open with a small burst of cold air. Astrid stumbled inside and closed the door behind her. She brushed her bangs out of her eyes and froze at the sight of Chief Stoick standing right in the middle of the room.

"Sorry," she apologized. Stoick shrugged nonchalantly as he tried to imagine what his grandchildren might look like. Red hair and blue eyes, or blonde hair and green eyes? So long as they had Astrid's fighting spirit and Hiccup's brain, he didn't much care what they looked like (yes he did, the liar).

"No trouble. It was cold and you're always welcome here." Astrid nodded and removing her cloak, went over to Hiccup at the table.

"I thought you'd be awake," she told him quietly.

"I _am,_" was Hiccup's mumbled protest. His stomach growled loudly.

Astrid ruffled his hair. "I'll make you some breakfast. Ruffnut and Snotlout will be over here in a little bit." Hiccup mumbled something incomprehensible in response. Astrid kissed the top of his head and-after looking around for supplies-got to work at the fire.

He slowly lifted his head, little by little, as the smell of something appetizing was filling the room. Even Toothless started sniffing around. Finally, a plate of something that looked delicious was set down in front of him. After years of Gobber's primitive cooking, his dad's _terrible _cooking, only an occasional bit of Agda's cooking, and some attempts of cooking for himself, this seemed like Valhalla on a plate to Hiccup.

"Eat up before I take all of it," Astrid warned him. To prove a point, she scooped some food up with a spoon and shoved it in her mouth. Hiccup complained and took the utensil from her. Somewhere during this, Stoick managed to slip out of the house discreetly. The two teenagers soon noticed his absence and began to properly say hello to each other.

All in all, not a bad way to start off the morning.

Astrid had just moved herself to a more comfortable position sitting across Hiccup's lap when Ruffnut burst into the house with Fishlegs and Tuffnut close behind. Fishlegs looked very excited once he spotted all the weaponry on the walls. Ruffnut gagged at the sight of Hiccup and Astrid.

"You two make me sick," she told them. Astrid sat up straight, glaring at Ruffnut. However, this change in position gave Hiccup a rather good view of Astrid's chest. He then noticed that one of his hands were high up on her ribcage, rather close to the area that was partially blocking his view of Ruffnut. He quickly looked away and dropped his hand to a lower altitude while using the other hand to eat more of the breakfast Astrid had prepared.

"We could make you feel even _sicker_ if you wanted," Astrid offered. Hiccup nearly choked. Ruffnut rolled her eyes while Astrid patted Hiccup on the back.

"So why are Tuff and Fishlegs here?" Astrid asked.

"It's your fault," Ruffnut accused. Astrid rolled her eyes. Ruffnut continued. "This was just supposed to be a hunting trip for _us _then you had to invite Hiccup and Snotlout. Then Fishlegs heard Snotlout talking to me last night about the plans for today and so he decides that he wants to tag along. Then Tuffnut was being a whiny little baby about leaving left out and Mom made me take him. And it's all because you wanted to take Hiccup along."

Well, wasn't this an awkward situation?

Astrid kept her cool. "Hiccup _wants _to come hunting with us. Don't you, Hiccup?" The look she was giving him told Hiccup that he needed to say yes if he wanted to keep the rest of his limbs.

"Yeah," Hiccup agreed. "I-I'm ready to hunt. I got my dagger and that set of bow and arrows my dad got me for my last birthday…"

Ruffnut rolled her eyes. "I'll be amazed if you manage to keep your balance long enough to even spot something you could kill." Hiccup automatically looked down to what was left of his leg.

Tuffnut was looking bored already, not listening to Fishlegs rattling off some random facts about some nonsense. Between Ruffnut's bad mood and Tuffnut's boredom, the two were destined to break out into a fight any moment. Hiccup started eating his food a little faster to get it down and out of the way.

Astrid sighed and leaned back against Hiccup. "I wonder when Snotlout will get here?" she wondered, ignoring Ruffnut's complaints.

Ruffnut huffed in annoyance. "Astrid, you know as well as I do that Snotlout has the reputation of being the island's heaviest sleeper. That's why when I sent my Zippleback over to get him."

They all paused to listen, then. In the distance, they could hear some screeches and some yelping. It was hard to tell which sounds were human and which were dragon. A few minutes later, the door crashed open and Snotlout was thrown into the Haddock household.

"Morning, sunshine," Tuffnut drawled sarcastically.

Snotlout ignored him and only blinked drowsily from the floor. Fishlegs was the only one with enough sense to close the door. Everybody else was waiting for Snotlout's response to Tuffnut.

Finally, Snotlout jerked and screamed in fright. "HOLY ODIN! WHERE AM-oh…hello guys." Ruff and Tuff fell over laughing at him. Snotlout looked as indignant as he could and stood up, brushing himself off.

"Seriously, how did I get here? And why am I up so early?"

* * *

Astrid and Hiccup were sitting up in some tree branches, waiting for the sun to rise. Hiccup was trying to remember if _he _had agreed to come on this trip, or if Astrid had forced him. It was dark, cold, and much too quiet. Every time he tried to talk, Astrid shushed him. Would the stupid animals just show up already so Astrid could shoot one so they could go home?

Hiccup sighed, yet again. "What're we doing?" he whispered.

"Waiting for the animals to show up," Astrid hissed. The branch she was crouched on started shaking violently. "Stop shaking!" she reprimanded. "I'm about to fall out of the tree."

"I'm freezing!" Hiccup complained. Astrid ignored him and kept her bow at the ready in case any unsuspecting creatures came into the clearing.

"What time are the animals supposed to show up?" Hiccup whined.

Astrid scoffed. "They never confirmed the time with me, so who knows?" She turned slowly to look at Hiccup, who was constantly shifting on his perch in the branches. Could that boy _ever _stay still? "What is wrong with you?" Astrid demanded.

Hiccup looked pained and embarrassed. "No reason. Just, uh, probably should've taken care of some…stuff…before I left." he muttered. Astrid scowled and ignored that. He could just hold it until she shot an animal. She'd wondered if the others were having any luck. Snotlout went off to hunt with Tuffnut (stating loudly that it was better than hunting with Ruffnut, earning a punch from said girl while Fishlegs muttered something about being nicer).

Ruffnut reluctantly brought Fishlegs along to hunt with her. He had certainly been annoying her with his habit of rattling off random facts when they left the group, but Ruffnut looked bored, not murderous, so Fishlegs would be alright.

Hiccup tentatively reached out to brush a few strands of Astrid's hair. She fixed her harsh glare on him. "It was in your eyes," Hiccup explained, tucking the hair behind her ear. Astrid's glare softened into an appreciative smile. Hiccup would've tried to kiss her, but she still seemed annoyed and she was armed. He'd wait.

Little by little, the sun began to creep up above the horizon. In the dim early morning light, a doe wandered into the clearing. Astrid smiled triumphantly. This would be an easy kill and then she and Hiccup could haul their trophy back to the village. She pulled back on the bow.

"Oh, it's a doe!" Hiccup whispered excitedly.

"Shut up!" Astrid implored, not taking her eyes off the deer. Hiccup paled, noticing her bow.

"You aren't gonna _shoot _her are you? She probably has a _baby _somewhere!"

Astrid scowled. "Hiccup, we're on a _hunting trip._ Besides, what do you think I brought my bow up here for?"

Hiccup panicked. "RUN, DEER! RUN!" The doe took off.

That day marked the first time Astrid ever pushed a boy out of a tree.

Hiccup groaned from where he lay on the ground. Astrid was unsympathetic. "You _moron!"_ she scolded. "Now we're gonna have to wait for_ever _for another animal to find us!" A loud sudden growl could be heard nearby. Now Astrid regretted pushing her boyfriend out of the tree. Hiccup, however, sat up-his backside dusted with snow-and called out "Toothless?"

At first there was no response except for the occasional breeze and the chirping of a bird. After a few agonizing moments where Astrid was unsure if Hiccup needed rescuing or not, the bushes rustled and in to the clearing trotted Toothless with the doe clutched around the neck in his mouth, now dead. He spit it out at Hiccup's feet and gurgled happily at his accomplishment.

"Ugh!" Hiccup said, pushing himself away from the carcass. Astrid climbed down from the tree and landed softly on her own two feet next to Hiccup. She reached out and scratched Toothless behind the ears. Toothless leaned into it with a dopey smile on his face. He liked this human girl. When would Hiccup hurry up and mate with her already?

"What a good dragon," Astrid cooed affectionately. Toothless purred in response. Astrid dropped her hand. "Wait here with the deer, alright? Hiccup and I will be right back." She turned to Hiccup and offered a hand. "Come on. We'll make a hunter out of you yet."

Hiccup brushed some of the snow off of his backside. "That s-s-s-sounds g-g-great, Astrid."

Astrid rolled her eyes and began to drag Hiccup through the woods. "Oh, you baby. It's not that cold." Really, she was cold, too, and she could think of things she'd rather be doing with Hiccup than be out in the snow, but they had a mission to accomplish.

She spotted tracks in the snow and she crouched down to get a better look. "You see this, Hiccup?"

"Yeah," he answered quickly. Astrid looked up to see Hiccup's eyes screwed shut.

"_Hiccup!_ _Look _at these tracks right now!" Slowly, Hiccup wrenched his eyes open. "What animal do you think they belong to?"

"I don't know."

"Where do you think it went?"

"I don't know."

"Hiccup!"

Hiccup sneezed. "Sorry, Astrid. I'm not really good at this tracking stuff." Astrid rolled her eyes.

"These tracks here are small; probably a rabbit. But there are tracks overlapping some of them that look a lot like a boar's. It probably hasn't been long since it passed through here. Come on." She grabbed Hiccup by the arm and began dragging him through the woods again. It took all his concentration not to trip and fall flat on his face.

Astrid stopped abruptly and pulled him down to the ground, clapping a hand over his mouth when he made the tiniest bit of noise. "Be quiet or you'll scare it," Astrid implored in an almost inaudible whisper. She pointed through the trees to a large round shape with short tusks in the distance. The shape was hardly moving. Astrid felt proud of herself for finding a boar.

"Okay, get your arrow ready," she ordered. Hiccup had already been pushed out of a tree that day. He didn't like to think what Astrid might do to him if he didn't follow through on this. He pulled out an arrow and with his hands shaking from the cold, he mounted it on the bow and pulled back on the string. Astrid sighed and reached over and helped him steady his grip and aim in the right direction.

"Release!" Astrid whispered. Hiccup let go.

The arrow whistled through the air and hit its target. For a moment, both Astrid and Hiccup were satisfied…until they heard a howl of pain that was definitely _not _from a boar. The shape moved to reveal something very tall and big with arms flailing.

"Would you shut up you big oaf?" A dry female voice demanded. "What are you yelling about?" That voice was Ruffnut's voice. Which means the large shape they had just mistaken for a boar and shot...

Hiccup paled. "Oh my, Gods!" he exclaimed, voice sounding shaky. "I just killed Fishlegs!" Astrid was frozen in horror as well.

"Something bit me! Oh, Gods, what if it was poisonous?" Fishlegs was screaming.

"There-there's an arrow in your butt," Ruffnut said slowly as if she couldn't believe it. Astrid had to try not to laugh. It wasn't funny that Fishlegs was in pain, of course, but the way Ruffnut had assessed his condition nearly sent her rolling around laughing in the snow. At least he'd live.

"Come on," Astrid said, standing up. "Let's go help Fishlegs. I'll take blame for the arrow. I was the one who mistook him for a boar, anyway."

* * *

**I was listening to a comedy station on XM Radio in a friend's car when one comedian named Bill Engvall was on the station. He told this story about this time he took his wife deer hunting (as repayment for the time they went out on a boat to get sneezed on by a whale.) The exchange between Hiccup and Astrid is almost exactly like the exchange between Bill and his wife, only reversed.**

**I had finished the exchange between Hiccup and Astrid when I decided that Fishlegs was gonna get shot. I have no idea why that idea crept into my brain, but it did and it stuck.**

**On a final note, for those of you who were curious about my sick guinea pig Larry that I mentioned last chapter, I'm sorry to say that he passed away in his sleep not long after I posted the chapter. It was sad, but I think I'm over it now.**

**Thanks for reading, don't forget to review!**


	10. A Lot of Crazy

**Please don't be mad for the long delay! Finals, holidays, relatives, and school starting back hit me all at once. I honestly didn't mean for there to be this long of a delay! So sorry! Enjoy the new chapter!**

* * *

Astrid's patience with her boyfriend was wearing incredibly thin. She had to remind herself constantly that she liked him a lot and he was a wonderful and considerate boyfriend and she was the luckiest girl on the whole damn island to have him and-_she was going to rip his arms off!_

If Astrid's eyes were open, she would have rolled them. She was settled into the pillows on Hiccup's bed and had been contentedly kissing him for at least a good half hour now. For twenty of those minutes, Hiccup's hand had been resting on her stomach _underneath _her tunic and he hadn't even tried to move it any further up. This would be fine, except this had been happening repeatedly for the past few weeks.

In the past, Astrid would have ripped someone's hand off if they even had a flicker of a thought about groping her. Now she was getting ready to do the same to Hiccup for _not _doing it. Boys were more complicated than she gave them credit for. Well, at least Hiccup was.

However, Astrid finally snapped when Hiccup moved his hand out from under her tunic and went to rest on her waist instead. Again. She pushed Hiccup off of her and rolled over on to her stomach, burying her face in his pillow. She let out a frustrated scream that surely would've been heard by the whole village if she hadn't bothered to muffle it.

"What'd I do?" Hiccup asked, confused.

"Nothing! You did nothing!" Astrid told him.

Now Hiccup was _really _confused. "And you're mad because…?"

Astrid turned over on her side, narrowing her eyes at the boy beside her. "Question: out of all the times your hand has been underneath my tunic, did you ever plan on maybe _moving it?_"

Hiccup blinked at her. "Like…where?"

"Up." Just like that, the boy's eyes were wide and the color flooded his face. Even his ears were bright red. He didn't say anything for a long time. Astrid poked him, sure he had forgotten how to speak or move. "Hiccup? Are you alright?"

Hiccup nodded. "Yeah, uh, yeah, I'm just-just fine. It's just that…I think my brain just exploded. You see, I came to terms with the fact a long time ago that no girl-_especially _you-would ever let me near enough to…yeah…and now you're…so…yeah…"

Astrid stared at him for a minute. "No more talking," she ordered. Then grabbed him by the neck of his tunic and brought his lips back down to hers.

* * *

"Is it just me, or are all the girls in the village acting weird?" Hiccup asked Fishlegs. The two boys were hanging out at Fishlegs' house that day. Toothless was snoozing in the corner, seeing as how Fishlegs' Gronckle-Horrorcow-had been doing just that since they arrived. Fishlegs, who had been preoccupied most of the time with carving a block of wood, shrugged.

"I haven't really noticed if _all _the girls have been acting weird. But, has Maija's hair changed color?" Oh, yes; Maija was in the process of dyeing her hair. Currently, it was one of the most unattractive shades of red. She had flaunted it to Hiccup in front of all of his friends and informed him that she would continue dyeing it until it was the best shade of blonde on the whole island.

_Astrid already beat you to it, _Hiccup had thought to himself.

"Yeah, it has," Hiccup confirmed. "But other girls have been acting weird, too. Some come by the shop when I'm working and ask me questions…simple questions…that any five-year-old would know…and they ask me them about ten times a day. Plus they're always so…giggly. They laugh at _everything_. I could say 'hello' and they just start laughing. And they keep going saying 'aw' all the time!"

Fishlegs paused to brush the wood shavings off the kitchen table. "Why do they keep saying that?"

Hiccup groaned. "I don't know why! They say it if I sneeze or cough or bump my head or my hip on something or if I yawn-"

"When you _yawn?_"

"Yeah, every time, without fail!"

"That is weird," Fishlegs agreed. He looked pensive. "You know, now that I think about it, the girls are acting weird."

"You mean they've been doing the same with you?"

"No."

Hiccup groaned and hit his head on the table.

"But a couple days ago, one came up to me if it was true that you were dating somebody. When I told them yes and who, they ran off. Then they came back with some of their friends and made me repeat it to a friend and then _another _group of girls asked me the same thing."

Both boys should have understood right then and there what was happening. But instead…

"I don't get it!" Hiccup said, frustrated. "Astrid's the only one acting normal!"

"Ruffnut, too," Fishlegs pointed out. "Ruffnut's still normal." Hiccup gave him a look. "Normal by _her _standards," Fishlegs corrected.

"So what do you think is happening with the girls?"

"What makes you think I know anything about girls?"

Rolling his eyes, Hiccup took his journal out from his vest pocket and flipped it open. "What're you carving there?" Hiccup asked, beginning work again on a half-done sketch.

"Huh? Oh! It's a Zippleback!" Fishlegs held out the carving for Hiccup to see. The heads, were easily identifiable. Fishlegs still wasn't done with the rest of the body. Hiccup smiled and nodded at the larger boy's work.

"It looks nice Fishlegs," Hiccup complimented. Fishlegs smiled gratefully and went back to carving.

"Ruffnut and Tuffnut have a birthday coming up soon," Fishlegs explained. "My mom is making a scarf for Tuffnut-said he needs a new one-and this is for Ruffnut. She'll probably end up clobbering Tuffnut with it or something. What are you drawing?"

Hiccup turned red and tried to block the sketch from Fishelgs' view. "Nothing," he muttered.

"Huh," grunted Fishlegs. "_Nothing_ looks a lot like Astrid."

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

Hiccup and Fishlegs joined Snotlout and Tuffnut in the Great Hall later for dinner. Snotlout was being particularly surly that evening. Not terribly long after winter began, Fireworm and most of the other dragons left. Most theorized that they went to hibernate at their nest. Some dragons stayed. Hiccup felt bad that Toothless had no choice but to stay. On the other hand, the Night Fury seemed to love the snow. Of course, his love of snow may have had something to do with the oversized scarf Astrid had made him.

"Fireworm just _took off,_" Snotlout complained. "She gave no warning. None. At. _All._ She just left."

"Would you just shut up already?" Tuffnut snapped. "My Zippleback has left, too, but you don't hear _me _complaining."

Snotlout shifted in his seat. "But I had gotten used to having her around…"

Hiccup realized what was going on with Snotlout. "You _miss _Fireworm!" Snotlout had _never _been attached to anyone except himself. Now he was whining and complaining because he was _attached _to that short-tempered dragon!

"I do not!" Snotlout protested hotly. "She just made chores easier, that's all," he grumbled, looking down at his plate. Tuffnut clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"You know, the first step to helping your deep depression is admitting your emotional attachment to Fireworm," he told the other boy seriously. Tuffnut was knocked to the ground in an instant.

"I do _not _miss her," Snotlout insisted.

"Denial!" Tuffnut accused. That was it for Snotlout's short temper.

"Oh, look, Fishlegs," Hiccup said in a bored voice. "They're fighting again."

"Really?" Fishlegs sighed. "That's only the third time today." He took a long sip from the cup in front of him. "Should we try to break it up?"

"Nah," said Hiccup, shaking his head. "Let them work it out on their own." Another person joined the table, sitting next to Hiccup on the bench. The boy turned to say hello to Astrid but got a nasty surprise instead in the form of Andren Halldóra. This girl was not exactly the most _pleasant_ Viking to look at. Her dark, stringy hair always seemed to have some sort of food stuck in its tangles, her eyebrows grew so thick and unruly they were dangerously close to becoming one full eyebrow, she was sprouting more chin and lip hairs than Hiccup, her unpleasant smell rivaled Snotlout's, and for many years of his childhood, Hiccup was unsure of Andren's gender. He thought she was a boy that just liked to wear dresses (her voice _had _always been unnaturally deep). Worst of all, Andren was known for beating people to a bloody pulp when she didn't get her way. Her own parents were afraid of her until Andren was sent over to the Bog Burglar tribe one summer. Apparently the heir of the tribe put Andren in her place.

That didn't make the he-she any less pleasant.

So when Hiccup turned toward her, he had to recover quickly from his greeting of "Hi-EUGH! BY THOR!" He cleared his throat. "Hi, Andren. You startled me."

Andren chuckled an octave higher than normal. "That's alright, Hiccup." She leaned in a little closer and Hiccup wanted to puke. Snotlout and Tuffnut had finally halted their fight, confused as to what was unfolding before them. Andren blinked rapidly.

"Um, is there something in your eye?" Hiccup wondered. Andren scowled. "I-I was only saying because you were blinking a lot and-and-and I was just…" _Think of something diplomatic, Hiccup! _"…concerned!"

It was a perfect answer. Andren's scowl melted and her mouth curled upward into her demented version of a smile. "How sweet of you!" she gushed. She did that slightly higher pitched chuckle again and that's when Hiccup realized that she was actually trying to _giggle! _He looked to his friends for help.

"So, Hiccup…" Andren leaned in a little. Hiccup wondered how long he could survive holding his breath. "I was wondering-" Hiccup heard a yelp behind him. He turned around to see Fishlegs sprawled out on the floor and some girl sitting where he used to be. It was hard for Hiccup to decide if this girl was better or worse than Andren. It was Gisli. Gisli Drifa. She was just _too _girly. She always giggled at _everything, _her voice was unnaturally high, gods forbid there were any kittens in the village because your ears would be ringing with her squeals, and she always smiled…all the time. There wasn't anything bad with smiling or having a positive attitude…but it seemed like the only facial expression she had ever learned. Hiccup made sure not to look directly into her eyes. Rumor was around the village that if you did, she'd steal your soul.

There was also another rumor that Gisli spoke in her own language that could only be understood by other girls who were just as energetic. So pretty much nobody. She was doing that now. Wait? What was that about his eyes? Either she likes them or she'd like to _eat _them. It was hard to tell.

"Uh…could you slow down?" Hiccup asked cautiously. From the floor, Fishlegs groaned that his head was in agony.

"Hey, I was talking to Hiccup first!" Andren growled. Hiccup had to lean back as the two girls got right in each other's face. Andren was scowling, Gisli was smiling sweetly.

"Well I wanted to talk to him, too," she said. There was a sinister undertone to her voice. But this was good! They were distracted. If Hiccup could just slide backwards off the bench, he could get away from this horrible, confusing situation. Maybe he could talk to his dad or Gobber. Maybe they would know what the Hel was going on.

Hiccup moved his leg to slide it off the bench. Gisli screamed in surprise.

"What the-?" Hiccup clapped a hand to the ear Gisli had just screamed into.

She was pointing to his prosthetic, mouth agape. Andren was staring with just as much wonder. "I didn't know it could _move _on its _own!"_

Hiccup stared at her for a minute. "What?" he finally manage to choke out.

"That! The metal thing!" Gisli elaborated. "I didn't know it could move!"

"I didn't either!" Andren seemed just as amazed.

"Is it _supposed _to do that?"

Hiccup's head was buzzing. With one friend down and two friends just in shock at what was unfolding in front of them, he actually had to _answer _these insane questions. Why would anybody actually ask him that?

"It-I-_yes_ it's supposed to do that. How do you two think I _walk _anymore? How do you think I _got _here?"

"Don't you just ride Toothless like a horse?" Andren asked. She was serious. Gisli was staring at the prosthetic leg.

"You can really just move it whenever you want to?"

"You two really are the most airheaded excuses for Vikings on this whole island, aren't you?" a familiar voice asked. Hiccup turned around and sighed in relief when he saw Astrid, _his _Astrid, his _girlfriend_ Astrid standing there, hands on her hips, eyes narrowed.

"Hey, Astrid!" Hiccup said in a way that sounded more like "Help me, help me, please for the sake of my sanity help me and I swear I will be your personal slave for eternity."

"Now I'd appreciate it if you two moved," Astrid said, "and left my boyfriend alone."

They both blinked in surprise. "You two are…_together?_"

Hiccup nodded. "Yeah, we are."

"I told both of you that!" Fishlegs reminded the girls. He was being helped up off the floor by Ruffnut.

Gisli-not smiling for once-was biting her lip nervously. "Nobody thought you were telling the truth." Oh, Gods, there were _more?_

"Why would you think that?" Astrid demanded.

Both girls hesitated. Both glanced down at Hiccup's prosthetic. Hiccup felt very uncomfortable.

"Go," Astrid barked. "Go, both of you, before I gut you like fish. And tell the other fan girls to stay away, too." Andren and Gisli didn't need to be told twice. They were gone in a blur.

"Thanks for the help, guys," Hiccup said sarcastically to Snotlout and Tuffnut. "And what do you mean by 'fan girls'?" he asked Astrid. She rolled her eyes as she sat down next to him.

"Come on, Hiccup, isn't it obvious?" she said. Fishlegs sat back down on the bench, only to be thrown to the floor by Ruffnut. She sat down in his spot instead.

"No, actually, I'm feeling a little clueless," Hiccup admitted.

"They like you, you moron," Ruffnut drawled. Success: three dropped jaws and one exasperated Astrid.

It took Hiccup a moment for his brain to unscramble from that repulsive thought. "Why? Why would they like me?" Astrid gave him a look.

"Hiccup, you're the Hero of Berk. You brought down a dragon the size of a mountain. Why _wouldn't _a girl like you?"

While Astrid quickly forgot about that incident, Hiccup's mind was still buzzing over what she said.

* * *

**Hiccup's gone to second base! Which is probably two more bases than any of his friends have gone.**

**Andren is a gender neutral Scandinavian name that means "manly." She was inspired by a nameless character from _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire._ At one point, Harry is asked to the Yule Ball by a girl who looks like she'll punch him if he says no. Thus, my mind created the loveliness that is Andren.**

**Gisli is also a gender neutral Scandinavian name that means "ray of sunshine." Minus the rudeness, I imagine this is how fan girls would react if Hiccup was a real person.**

**Cookies for those who can tell me the HTTYD book character reference.**

**I think with the next chapter, I'll be getting back on board with the plot of the movie. Woohoo!**

**I also am thinking of doing some Megamind one-shots. Anything you guys would like to see?**

**And hey, someone totally copied from one of the chapters of this story and used it as a one-shot. In the words of Gru: "Not cool."**


	11. Inked

**Author's Note: I'm sorry about the long wait, guys. I haven't forgotten about the story, I promise. Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

The winter went on: sunlight was rare, snow kept coming down, and there were days that the Berk islanders were trapped in their own houses (these were also the days that they realized that "quality family time" was best spent away from each other). Slowly, bit by bit, spring crept up on the village. The weather went from dangerous blizzards, to raging snow storms, to powder, to sleet.

It was one chilly day where the sun was out, the villagers were out enjoying the snow-less ground, and crops and gardens were finally being planted again, that the dragons that left the island to hibernate, finally came back.

A Monstrous Nightmare landed by the dragons at an empty feeding dish, looking excited. The teenage boy a short distance from the dragon lit up with a big grin.

"Fireworm!" Snotlout shouted, running toward the dragon, arms in the air. Fireworm purred as her rider threw his arms around her neck. "Hey, girl! Did you miss me?" Snotlout asked, scratching that special spot on her head between her horns. "Did you miss me? I bet you did! You did, didn't you? I missed you, too, girl! Did you have a nice hibernation? Did you? I'm so glad you're back, I-" Snotlout stopped when he heard Tuffnut laughing hysterically behind him. He whipped around to glare at him.

"What are you laughing at troll brain?" Snotlout demanded.

"Ah, man!" Tuffnut laughed. "I can't believe you're getting excited over your dragon coming back! I mean, I knew you _would _be since you've been moping about her being gone, but I didn't thing you'd be like _this! _I-" A Zippleback landed nearby, giving a little shrieking growl in greeting. "ZIPPY!" Tuffnut shrieked. He ran toward the two-headed dragon, nearly tripping over himself. Astrid and Hiccup laughed as he ran by. She sat comfortably on the windowsill of the blacksmith shop, enjoying simultaneous people watching and talking with her working boyfriend. Hiccup was taking a short break and was glad he had chosen that moment to do so.

"Is Captain Pickles excited to be back?" Hiccup asked.

Astrid nodded. "Oh, yes, she is. I did fly over here, but she got distracted by a puddle. I'll drag her away from it later." Hiccup quickly pecked her on the cheek before going back to sharpening a sword.

"So what are your plans for today?" he asked.

"I was going to hang out with Ruff, some. She said she'd meet me here. What about you?"

Hiccup looked closely at the sword in hand. No, not sharp enough yet. "Well, the guys might stop by later and I don't have much more work to do today, so I'll probably just hang out with them."

"Speaking of the half-brains…" Astrid joked, sliding off the window sill and into the shop. Snotlout and Tuffnut walked over to the window with their dragons trailing behind them.

"Hey, Hiccup! Let's go flying!" Snotlout demanded.

Hiccup made no move to hurry out to flying, choosing to straighten up the weapons instead. "Shouldn't we wait for Fishlegs?"

Tuffnut snorted. "He'll be here. He's walking Ruff over."

Hiccup raised an eyebrow at this development. "Huh. That's nice of him."

"Nice isn't the word I'd be using."

That's when they all heard Ruffnut's voice ring out. "Move it, Fishbrains!" she barked.

"I am! I can't go any faster than this, Ruff!" Fishlegs complained.

"What? You had _better _not be suggesting something about my weight."

"No, I'm saying I'm too weak!"

"Oh, pipe down, you baby. You've got muscle. This shouldn't be hard at all. Besides, you brought this on yourself."

"I said I was sorry!"

"Sorry doesn't cut it!" The two finally came into view. Poor Fishlegs was carrying Ruffnut on his back. The girl didn't seem to care that Fishlegs was red-faced, short of breath, and about to keel over.

"Um…why?" Hiccup asked. Fishlegs sat Ruffnut on the window sill and promptly fell over on the ground.

Ruffnut snorted. "Fishlegs here caused an accident that hurt my ankle. I can't walk too much on it, so now he has to pay for it."

"I said…" Fishlegs panted, "sorry!" That was all he had in him, it seemed.

Tuffnut offered a hand. "Come on, Fish. You can take a break from my sister and go flying."

"Hey! _I _want to go flying!" Ruffnut protested. Tuffnut sneered at her.

"You can't, Ruff. Your _ankle _is still injured. Don't worry, though, I'll take good care of the Zippleback."

Ruffnut growled and grumbled under her breath about the eternal hatred she harbored toward her twin.

"Come on, Hiccup! Let's go!" Snotlout demanded. "You're burning daylight."

Hiccup sighed, closing the shop windows. "Alright, alright, I heard you," he drawled. Astrid pulled him in for a kiss goodbye right there in the doorway.

"Ew!"

"Sick!"

"You're gonna make me barf!" Hiccup rolled his eyes and broke the kiss.

"I'll see you later, Astrid!" he called. The four boys walked away to Fishelgs' house, three dragons trailing behind them; it would be a four man job convincing Horrorcow to come away from the fire. She had been spoiled in the winter. As soon as they were out of sight and earshot, Astrid turned to Ruffnut.

"So how long are you going to pretend your ankle still hurts?" she asked.

Ruffnut hopped down on the ground and did a cartwheel for good measure. "Ah, may another week or so. Maybe more. What can I say? The boy's easy and fun to mess with!"

* * *

"Hiccup! You've been dating Astrid for months now! Are you seriously telling me that you still can't seal the deal?"

Oh, Hiccup wished this conversation hadn't come up. But it had.

_Hiccup, have you and Astrid done it yet?_

_ Uh…huh…well, you see, um…no._

Just like that, the guys-Snotlout and Tuffnut mostly-started in on him.

"No, Tuffnut, we haven't _sealed the deal _and it's not your business if we do or not." He threw another rock across the water. They had all decided to take a break in the cove after flying around for a few hours. Unfortunately, taking a break meant talking about things Hiccup didn't wish to talk about.

Snotlout put his hands on his cousins' shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. "Listen to me: things with Astrid are good, right?" Hiccup nodded. "They're back on track. You have got to recover from your little accident-" Hiccup angrily shoved Snotlout away, his cheeks glowing red. He would _never _live that one down. "Hiccup, you have to get back in that ring!"

Hiccup wisely decided against telling them that he had, in the months since, seen Astrid shirtless. Her under wrappings stayed on, but she _had_ been shirtless.

"I'd rather wait until I knew there was a definite contract in place," Hiccup insisted, throwing another rock. He sighed. "And, quite frankly, the idea is terrifying: me…_naked. _In front of _her…_also naked."

Snotlout smirked. "That's not terrifying. At least, not for _me_. I was _kidding!_" he quickly added when Hiccup gave him a murderous glare.

"There's nothing to be terrified of, Hiccup," Tuffnut assured him, sitting down atop a boulder. "Because you've done your prep work, am I right?

Hiccup was confused. "Yeah…I think? She likes me."

Tuffnut shook his head. "Cute, but I wasn't talking about that." Tuffnut leapt off the boulder. "I was talking about _this_." He lifted up the left side of his shirt, revealing a sprawling tattoo on the left side of this torso. "Chicks, _dig _the tattoo, man!"

Snotlout snorted. "Yeah, especially ones of a _tree._"

"It's not a _tree!"_ Tuffnut snapped. "It's _Yggdrasil!_"

"The world tree. Way to go."

"Oh, shut up. Hiccup, if you get a tattoo, when you and Astrid finally do it, she won't be able to keep her hands off of you for the rest of your life! The plan is _perfect!_"

"Really? Then where's your girlfriend, Tuffnut?" Snotlout and Fishlegs laughed uproariously at that. Tuffnut scowled. "I don't need to get a tattoo for Astrid. She already likes me and that's enough for me." Hiccup, feeling his point was made went to Toothless and began to swing a leg over to make a quick escape.

"I bet _Thuggory _has a tattoo," Tuffnut called.

Hiccup froze. It shouldn't matter. They never dated. Astrid said they never dated. So why should it matter to him that Thuggory probably had a tattoo?

"Alright now, who's gettin' the tattoo today?" Gobber asked. Three hands pointed to Hiccup, who was smirking triumphantly. _Ha! _Gobber would _never _give Hiccup a tattoo! He knew Stoick wouldn't like it. Hiccup could chicken out with grace! He was in the clear! He was free!

"Ah, Hiccup! I was waitin' for this day t'come! Yer first tattoo! I'm so proud!"

He was dead.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Hiccup said as Gobber sniffled. "You-you're actually gonna _do it?_ What would my _Dad _think?"

Gobber rolled his eyes. "Yer father has tattoos, too, boy. He won' mind. I remember _my _first tattoo. It was at yer father's _bachelor party._ You lads want to see it?" Hiccup's eyes widened. He _knew _this story!

"No! No! No! No! No! No! No!" he said quickly waving his hands. "We, uh, don't need to see it, Gobber, but thanks for the offer." Gobber shrugged and turned to hobble upstairs to his bedroom.

Snotlout shoved him. "Dude! What if we wanted to see the tattoo?" he complained.

Hiccup crossed his arms and huffed. "You don't trust me. My dad told me the story before. Gobber's got a mermaid tattoo."

Tuffnut shrugged. "So?"

Hiccup looked at each of them, wondering how well they would take the information. "It's on his butt."

There was a collective "Eugh!" and the subject was dropped. Gobber returned down the stairs with a box in hand. Hiccup saw sharp things in there. He blanched at the thought of some of those making contact with his skin.

"Alright, so where's the tattoo goin'?" Gobber asked, eyeing Hiccup up and down.

"How about his butt?" Snotlout suggested. Hiccup elbowed him in the stomach. Fishlegs muttered that this all was a horrible idea.

"Uh, no. I'm not doin' tha'," Gobber decided. "How about just on yer back? An' you haven' told me what you _want _yet."

"A dragon!" Snotlout proposed enthusiastically.

Tuffnut snorted. "No, he should get a _skull._"

"How about he just tattoos Astrid's name?" Fishlegs spoke up. "I mean, if you're really going to go through with this, then a name is going to take a lot less time than a dragon or a skull."

Hiccup took a deep breath, then exhaled. He could do this. He could do this. Besides, most Vikings couldn't read anyway so if he ended up being married to someone who wasn't Astrid (his heart sank at the thought) then she wouldn't know. He nodded.

"Okay, let's do this," Hiccup consented. He stripped off his shirt and laid face down on Gobber's table.

"This'll hurt boy," Gobber warned. Hiccup rolled his eyes.

"I work in a blacksmith shop, I've fallen into a great fiery explosion, and lost my leg. I think I can handle _oh! Ow! Ow! Ow!_ Couldn't you have given me a _warning?_"

"I did!"

"No, I meant a warning that you were about to _start._ You just gave me a warning that I was gonna be in _pain. Ow!_"

"You okay, Hiccup?" Fishlegs asked. Hiccup shook his head.

"I don't like this!" he said through gritted teeth. He had a death grip on the table.

Fishlegs looked nervously from the progressing tattoo to Hiccup. "Listen, if you want to abort the mission, that's _completely _understandable."

"_Gah! _I can't abort the mission _now!"_ Hiccup strained.

"Yeah, he's already got part of Astrid's name permanently tattooed on his skin," Snotlout pointed out. "He'd look pretty fucking stupid if we stopped now."

"_Shut up! Shut up!" _ Hiccup growled.

"You shut up!" was Tuffnut's clever comeback.

Fishlegs looked at Hiccup, who was extremely pale. "Hiccup, are you sure you're okay? You don't look so good."

"_Oh, holy shit! Gah! _Of…_course _I don't look good, Fishlegs! I'm getting a fucking tattoo! It's not exactly sunshine and daisies!"

"Yer bein' annoyin' is wha' yer doin'!" Gobber complained. "Yeh think I complained this much when _I _got _my _tattoo?"

Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Of course not, you were drunk. _Ow!_" This time, it was Gobber's hand to the back of Hiccup's skull that caused the outcry of pain. "Just please tell me you're almost done."

"Almost…" Gobber promised. "There! I finished!" Hiccup breathed a sigh of relief. "With the first rune!" This was going to take forever.

* * *

**Another Author's Note: Besides college sucking up all my time, a relative of mine passed away in February and it took a while for me to start getting into a creative mood again.**

**Though, as a warning, my finals will be coming up kind of soon and I'm going to have to focus on my assignments until this semester ends. So it may be a few weeks before I post another chapter. However, there will be another (sadly short) chapter of _A Case of the Hiccups _up and I wrote a Ruffnut/Fishlegs oneshot on request that's a parody of _Hey Arnold!_**

**In _She's Out of My League, _Kirk does not get a tattoo. Instead, he is told he needs to shave his, ahem, _jewels_ for Molly. Considering that Viking shaving methods were probably a lot more primeval compared to today, I was not going to put Hiccup through that. The poor boy would have probably accidentally castrated himself. So I changed the story ever so slightly to save poor Hiccup from this fate.**

**Next chapter: Dancing and a drunk Gobber.**


	12. Parties, Mead, and Contracts

**The following chapter contains scenes of singing, dancing, and drunkenness. Some characters will act in a way that is totally unacceptable in day-to-day society...WOOHOO!**

* * *

Hiccup sighed again as he and Astrid climbed the steps to the Mead Hall. "I don't like parties," he complained again.

"How would you know? You hardly go to any of them!" Astrid pointed out.

"No, I go to almost all of them. But nobody ever wanted to talk with me or eat with me or anything so I usually just sit in a dark corner all night." Astrid gave him a much needed peck on the cheek.

"Well that was _before,_" she said. "Now you have an excuse to be a party animal. You _are _the Hero of Berk, after all. People will want your attention all night." This didn't console her boyfriend.

Hiccup turned on his heel. "Well, I'm tired. I'll just go back home now." Astrid yanked him back forcefully.

"Come on, you big baby," she growled. "I like your new leg, by the way," she added. Hiccup had still continued to grow so that minor adjustments to his first prosthetic were no longer any good and he had to just make a whole new one. The feast was already in full swing when they opened the doors to the Meade Hall. Almost instantly, the pair were accosted by Fishlegs, Ruffnut, and Snotlout who were all talking excitedly at once.

"Where were you guys?"

"You made it just in time!"

"You almost missed it!"

"Almost missed what?" Hiccup asked impatiently.

_"Gobber!"_ Ruffnut scoffed as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. "He's already had a few too many pints of mead!"

Hiccup slowly began to grin. The same thing had happened last year. "No way! Has it happened yet?"

Fishlegs shook his head. "No, but any second now-" Drumbeats began and everyone in the hall became silent. Hiccup could see the stage where Tuffnut's band _Frightening Foreigners _was playing. With them was a rather inebriated Gobber, grinning at the crowd. This always happened every year at this feast. Gobber had a little too much to drink, got up on stage, and sang a song.

"Hello, BERK!" Gobber yelled out. The other instruments started up and Gobber began to sing _"It's hard to stay up, it's been a long, long day! And you've got the Sandman at the door! But hang on till the break of dawn and let's do it anyway!"_

With a cheer, Snotlout ran to join the crowd of dancers. Ruffnut snorted. "He's going to get knocked out before the end of the night for hitting on someone," she said with confidence. Then she punched Fishlegs on the arm.

_Tomorrow's just your future yesterday!_

"OW! What'd you do that for?" He whined, rubbing the sore spot.

"Because there's a song playing and _what are you doing?_"

Fishlegs gulped. "Uh…standing here?" Ruffnut gave him a look. "Oh, right! Um…do you want to…?" Ruffnut rolled her eyes and dragged him out into the crowd.

"I suppose since I'm feeling nice tonight, I'll give it a try," she reasoned. If she had been looking, she would have seen Astrid rolling her eyes. Hiccup shifted his weight from foot to foot, feeling very nervous and unsure of himself. Finally, he turned to Astrid.

"You wanna dance?" he blurted out.

Astrid was both pleased and surprised. "I'm fine not dancing if you don't think you can dance with your leg."

_Life's too short to worry about,_

_ The things that you can live without._

_And I regret to say,_

_ The morning light is hours away._

_It's not a leg, it's a thing,_ Hiccup reminded himself. "I can dance in it. I've been practicing. See?" He did a little jig right there to prove it to her. She laughed. Well, he'd sort of been expecting that reaction. He had really practiced with it, though. It was bad enough that Astrid was with a cripple like him, but he didn't want her to miss out on the things she could do with a normal boyfriend just because of him.

_The world can be such a fright,_

_ But it belongs to us tonight._

Astrid smiled and took his hand. "I'd love to. Now let's hurry before the song is over!" The two rushed out on to the dance floor.

_What's the point of going to bed?_

_ You look so lovely when your eyes are red!_

Astrid was impressed at Hiccup's maneuverability. He was a great inventor, really. Not only had he given a dragon back the power of flight, but he had given himself back everything he had lost when he lost his leg all those months ago. He could walk, run, and-as she could see now-dance quite well. Who would've thought?

_It's hard to stay up,_

_ It's been a long, long day,_

_ And you've got the Sandman at the door!_

_ But hang on till the break of dawn_

_ And let's do it anyway!_

_ It's okay!_

_ You can always sleep through work tomorrow,_

_ 'kay?_

"Hey, hey!" the crowd shouted along with Gobber. Stoick was the only one who didn't say anything. He was too busy looking at his son grinning from ear to ear at Astrid, who looked just as happy with Hiccup.

_Tomorrow's just your future yesterday!_

_ Tomorrow's just your future yesterday!_

Everyone cheered as the song finished. A very gleeful Gobber took one bow and promptly fell off the stage, passed out. The very concerned band just started up another song. Astrid, still energetic from the dancing grabbed Hiccup and kissed him soundly.

"Where have you been hiding your dancing shoes all this time?" she demanded when they parted.

"A secret cave hidden deep in the mountains," he shrugged. "I had to make sure they were well hidden until I really needed them."

_Because your kiss,_

_ Your kiss is on my list!_

Hiccup and Astrid had barely started dancing again when Astrid looked over Hiccup's shoulder and gasped happily.

"Oh, look, it's my parents!" she said. Hiccup felt queasy. He hadn't exactly talked to them since his rather embarrassing accident several months prior. He actually had hopes and dreams to successfully avoid them for the rest of his life. He had been quite successful in that endeavor up until now.

"Come on, let's go see them!" Astrid dragged a reluctant Hiccup behind her over to her parents. They smiled like nothing had happened at all. Good, Hiccup could roll with that. He could pretend, too.

"Hello, you two," Gerda Hofferson said. "You're quite the pair of dancers."

Gunnar nodded in agreement. "You can move quite well in that new leg of yours. You're improving, I see."

Hiccup shrugged. "Well, everyday's a battle, sir," he admitted nervously. Gunnar nodded again.

"Well, so far, you're winning every one of them. So, Astrid says you're quite the inventor. What have you been working on lately?"

Hiccup's stomach was in knots. "Well, actually I've been-"

"He's been working on a weapon called The Mutilator," Astrid interrupted. "It's really cool. Very impressive. It'll be useful next time we go into battle." As impressed as Hiccup was that she remembered something he had talked to her about months ago, he felt a little uneasy that she had just lied about him to her parents. Right when he was standing there, too.

Astrid's parents were plenty pleased with that answer, though. "Atta boy, Hiccup," Gunnar said encouragingly. "Now, if you don't mind, the two of us would like to talk to Astrid for a minute." He already had a hand on Astrid's shoulder to lead her away.

"I'll come find you in a little while, okay?" Astrid promised. He gave her a little smile and waved as she was led away by her parents. He needed a drink. He had turned sixteen in February, anyway. He could have some mead without getting trouble from the adults. That was how Hiccup found himself at a table by himself, sipping at the small amount he had dared to fill his mug with.

Of course, his peace and quiet was disturbed when Ruffnut plopped down beside him. "Some party, huh?" she said, patting Hiccup on the shoulder.

"Where's Fishlegs?" Hiccup asked. Ruffnut put a finger to her mouth and made a shushing sound which was interrupted by a fit of giggles. Oh, dear Odin. Ruffnut had already gotten herself drunk.

"He-he went to go find me some food. Or was he going to take me home? No, wait, _I _wanted food, but Fishlegs said he was going to take me home after I tried to bite his arm. So I'm _hiding!_" Ruffnut started laughing at her own little joke again. "Oh, my gosh! Fishlegs is such a nerd! But he's so cute and adorable! He's smart, too! You think I should tell him that I want to make out with him? I _should_. I _will!_"

Hiccup nodded along with Ruffnut, playing into her drunken state. This night could turn out to be a very interesting one.

"Oh, my gosh, Hiccup! Fishlegs would be like…the _best _boyfriend ever! Seriously! You think he'd let me be his girlfriend? Well, even if he doesn't I'll force him to. Because I want him to be my boyfriend. He'd be a good boyfriend. Hey! You know who _else _is a good boyfriend?"

Hiccup snorted. "Who?"

_"You,_ silly! You're like the most awesome boyfriend in all of Midgard! Astrid…you know Astrid, right? She's like _super lucky _to have you! It's too bad that Astrid is such a sucky girlfriend, though."

Drunk Ruff or not, Hiccup was offended. "What're you talking about? Astrid's a great girlfriend."

Ruffnut put an arm around Hiccup's shoulder and leaned in. "Well…don't tell Hiccup this because it'd make him all sad and shit, okay? Astrid lied to him about Thuggory! She told him that they never went out! But they did! For a _whole _summer! She just said she wanted to pretend it never happened but it did happen! But it did and she lied about it to Hiccup."

Hiccup had to take a moment before he said anything else. Even then, all he could manage was "She did?"

"Oh, yeah, totally! You know, personally, I only think she's going out with him because she feels sorry for him. The guy thinks no girl wants to have him since he lost a leg-which isn't true, because if Fishlegs wasn't so hot I'd totally do Hiccup in a second. But, not only does she feel sorry for him, but she figures that since he's the Hero of Berk she might as well tag along and get a piece of that fame, too."

Hiccup took another sip of mead, his throat feeling rather dry. "That's….interesting, Ruffnut." He wanted to prod her for more information, but she passed out right there at the table. Finally Fishlegs made his appearance, looking very relieved.

"Oh, thank the Gods I finally found her!" he sighed, scooping her up in his arms. "I'm gonna take her home before she wakes up and decides to try and eat my arm again."

"Good luck with that," Hiccup mumbled as he carted her away. Hiccup wasn't quite sure he wanted to finish his mead any more. Pushing it away, he decided to find some food for himself. His head was buzzing with what Ruffnut had said. Yes, she had been quite drunk, but she was also Astrid's best friend and alcohol was known to reveal even the most guarded secrets to listening ears.

Something collided with his side, nearly knocking him over. "Whoa, Astrid!" Hiccup gasped. Astrid had flung her arms around him, grinning widely. He was also pretty sure that she had just squealed, too.

"Hiccup, I have to talk to you!" she said, dragging him to the doors excitedly. "You'll never believe this! You'll never believe it!"

"Well how do you know that until you tell me what it is?" Hiccup pointed out. It wasn't until they were halfway down the stairs before Astrid turned to him, still grinning widely.

"My parents told me that they've been talking with your dad," she said. "And they said after we get back from your family's trip, they're going to draw up an _official contract!"_

"A contract?" Hiccup echoed. What for? Then it hit him. "A-what? Are you serious? They want to draw up a-"

"Marriage contract, yes!" Astrid confirmed excitedly. She hugged Hiccup again and began to kiss him all over his face.

"They do know that you'd be getting married to _me, _right?" Hiccup asked. He couldn't believe that this was real. He was getting married to Astrid: the girl of his dreams, the girl of everyone else's nightmare, the girl who had been lying to him about some big things in their relationship.

Astrid nodded and laughed. "Yes, they know and they couldn't be happier with the match! _I _couldn't be happier!" She captured his lips with hers and began moving against them feverishly. Despite all that had happened that night, Hiccup found himself returning the kiss with a passion. Too soon, Astrid pulled away and Hiccup made a disappointed noise.

"Come on," Astrid said, a playful look to her eye. "Let's go _celebrate._" Slow as he was when it came some things in relationships, Hiccup didn't have to question the meaning behind Astrid's words that time.

* * *

**Smexy times are about to go down!**

**Drunken Ruff was meant to tread the fine line between funny and drama. Yeah, did you notice the little bit I threw in there for any Ruffcup fans? You're welcome. Although, I think the Rufflegs fans have more to cheer about.**

**The song Gobber sings is actually Craig Ferguson's full theme song for his show _The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson_. The random kiss is on my list lyrics are from the movie _She's Out of My Leauge. _Stainer is in a Hall & Oates tribute band called _Adult Education. _They sing _Kiss On My List _at a party in the film. **


End file.
